While those adorable pictures of your kids in gingham and denim might make it all worth it, sometimes you just need a few pumpkins with no strings attached. We’ve got you covered. Coming up, we have the best place to buy affordable pumpkins this fall, including heirloom pumpkins and jumbo carving pumpkins, with no extra pressure to take a hay ride.

So where is this magical place? Hint: You’re probably already headed there this weekend. Read on for all the details.

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What’s the best place to buy pumpkins this fall?

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It’s Costco! Yep, pumpkins are back this fall, and compared to the pumpkin patch, they are dirt cheap (just like those Costco pumpkin pies). And we’re not just talking about little baby pumpkins, though they have those too. These are big ones, perfect for carving, as well as heirloom pumpkins, those gorgeous, old-fashioned-looking pumpkins that have been cultivated from the same seed line for decades.

Here’s how the pumpkin prices at Costco break down, though they may vary slightly by location. These are all priced per piece, not by weight, so feel free to grab the biggest one you want.

• Jumbo pumpkins: $7.99
• Heirloom pumpkins: $6.99
• 5-pack of mini pumpkins: $5.99

People are all over social media bragging about their great Costco pumpkins. Here are a few happy customers:

“Our pumpkin is perfect 🎃 I got it [at] Costco for 7 bucks 😝,” someone said on Instagram. “Now let’s see how long it takes for the squirrels to start carving it 🐿️”

“I’d love to support pumpkin patches, but last time we went out one pumpkin that felt like a decent size was $35!! And the smaller one $20,” according to a pumpkin buyer on Reddit.

“I bought a huge pumpkin 🎃 from Costco today … it was only $8,” said a Costco shopper on Facebook.

How do Costco’s pumpkin prices compare to pumpkin-patch prices?

They’re a lot less. Pumpkin patches generally price their pumpkins by the pound, and some charge an entry fee, which could be $20 or more per person just to get in the gates.

As for the pumpkins, I found one patch in upstate New York that charges 69 cents per pound. Another, in the New York City area, prices them at 79 cents per pound! Conversely, a pumpkin patch in Fort Worth, Texas, charges a $15 entry fee but offers flat pumpkin prices of $3 to $15. Buy two or three, and you’re already over $50.

Costco doesn’t advertise how much their pumpkins weigh, so we can’t make an exact pumpkin-to-pumpkin comparison, but for a fairly typical 25-pound pumpkin, at 79 cents a pound you’re looking at $19.75 for one jack-o’-lantern. Compare that to $7 or $8 bucks at Costco, depending on where you live, and the difference is considerable.

Are there any downsides to buying Costco pumpkins?

Not really, unless you have a bad back. These jumbo pumpkins are massive, and the heirlooms aren’t tiny either. If it’s pumpkin-buying time in your household, it’s probably a good idea to bring an extra set of muscles—your partner, a friend or your most strapping kid—instead of going it alone.

Other than that, it’s important to choose your pumpkins wisely. Make sure they don’t have any soft spots that might make them rot prematurely, and never pick up a pumpkin by the stem. If it rips off or weakens, you’ve now got an entry point for moisture and decay. Grab them underneath, and don’t forget to bend at the knees.

How long will they be available at Costco?

Costco’s pumpkins are a seasonal item, so they won’t be on sale forever. But you can expect to find them until Halloween or shortly after. Costco’s pumpkins are sourced from the U.S., Canada and Mexico, and the pumpkin-growing season lasts deep into fall. But if you’ve ever made a desperate run to Costco for something only to find it was sold out (temporarily or permanently), your best bet is to stock up well before you buy your Halloween candy.

Sources:

• Dallas Morning News: “Pick your perfect pumpkin at one of these North Texas pumpkin patches”
• Stakey’s Pumpkin Farm: “Pricing and hours”
• Soon Orchards: “U-pick pumpkins”
• Reddit: “Cheapest place to get pumpkins? Everything is so expensive”
• @Costcowonders on Instagram
• @alexandriaduvall on Instagram
• Costco: “Pumpkins”

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Which brings me to one of my favorite employment stories: My boss needed help getting a bunch of shifts covered during a very busy season, and I volunteered. Because I’m a team player! Because I genuinely like helping people! And, if I’m being completely honest, because I thought if I was just nice enough, I could get on her good side and get promoted.

For months, I burned myself out, working early and late shifts on top of my own workload. Then one day, I finally got an email from my boss. I assumed it was going to be something like: “Thank you so much for all the extra work you’ve been putting in. I couldn’t do this without you!” Nope. Instead, she scolded me for not cleaning enough after one shift and ended with the line: “Don’t forget—working here is a privilege.” My brain exploded.

Y’all, it was a minimum-wage job. 

I was not working as a peacekeeper for the U.N. I was not curing childhood cancer. I was not following the president around with a briefcase of nuclear codes handcuffed to my wrist. And the truth was that I was doing her a favor for basically the price of a cup of coffee (and my dignity)!

Not only did being nice not get me a promotion—it didn’t even get me recognized as a good human being. But the part that stung the worst? The person who did get the promotion was the definition of Not Nice. It was one of the moments where you start to understand why people say nice guys finish last. (Or in my case, nice gals work 50 extra shifts, clean the bathroom, organize the equipment, get an ulcer and then apologize for leaving some boxes out … because that’s what I did.)

But still, being nice is a good thing, right? We see how awesome it can be time and again in Reader’s Digest‘s annual Nicest Places in America search. And let’s be honest: No one wants to hang out with (or date) a jerk. But do nice guys really finish last? It turns out that science does have an answer, but it’s complicated. And it starts with defining what “nice” really is.

Read on to find out what actually qualifies as being nice and what it can lead to—if you do it the right way.

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What does it mean to be “nice”?

For starters, “nice” doesn’t mean being a doormat, says Adam Mendler, PhD, who teaches graduate-level leadership courses at UCLA and hosts the Thirty Minute Mentors podcast, where he regularly advises people on how to be both nice and successful. “Kindness can signal to people that you’re soft or a pushover,” he says. “Some people will try to see how far they can push you or what they can get away with.”  

Eliska Kostelny, PsyD, a licensed clinical professional counselor and clinical supervisor at Pure Health Center, adds another concern to the mix: “Being nice” can be seen as not being proactive or passionate.

OK, so what does it really mean to be nice? The word is actually so nebulous and used in so many different contexts—good and bad—that researchers often avoid it, says Christian Bumpous, a licensed psychotherapist and the founder of Therapie in Nashville. 

So instead of researching niceness, scientists instead tend to look at “agreeableness,” a Big Five trait that includes trust, straightforwardness, altruism, compliance, modesty and tender-mindedness—or “kindness,” which the Kindlab defines as “an action intended to benefit someone else at some cost to yourself.”

What does the research show about being nice?

It depends entirely on the setting. When people talk about nice guys finishing last, it’s usually in the context of pay/promotions at work, love and overall happiness. And the answer changes depending on which one of those three things you’re measuring. For instance, the agreeable type of “nice” is sometimes linked with poorer work outcomes, while true kindness is linked to more successful relationships, better reputations and increased well-being. Here’s how it breaks down.

Work

In a classic study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that overall agreeable people do earn less over the course of their careers—and the effect was stronger for men. “The researchers assumed it was likely because they negotiate and advocate for themselves less than less-nice peers,” Bumpous says. “A person can end up avoiding conflict and saying yes too often. They tend to undernegotiate and get overlooked for raises and promotions at work. Over time, that can build resentment, which in turn leads to increased stress and feelings of burnout.” 

However, while the research focuses on agreeableness, Mendler says that kindness produces different results because people who are kind are likable. “People would rather work with, hire, promote and support someone they like and trust,” he says. “Over the years, I have been given opportunities I wasn’t the best candidate for because the decision-maker liked me, and a big part of being likable is being kind.”

Research backs that up: A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that strangers placed in random groups were most likely to choose the most altruistic group members to be both leaders and partners. So if your work involves leadership or working with others, being kind is a must. 

“Kindness leads to stronger trust in relationships, more loyalty, and increased social support,” Bumpous says. “All three things can be protective factors that ultimately buffer stress. It also leads to better teamwork and a better reputation at work over time.”

Love and friendship

Despite what the internet may tell you, kind men are not finishing last in love. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. A foundational study published in 2003 found that women prefer men who come across as kind and sensitive over those who are jerks—even when the jerk was rated as more attractive. A follow-up study of 191 male college students found that men who scored lower in agreeableness were more likely to have casual, less-committed sexual relationships. So if you’re looking for real romance, being nice is the way to go.

Bumpous references the decades of research on relationships done by the Gottman Institute: “They found kindness is one of the strongest predictors when it comes to stable partnerships. In the long run, being nice works out.”

Of course, romance is only one type of relationship, and a fulfilling life has many types of close connections. “We also often see the ‘nice guy’ archetype as the unrequited, friend-zoned person who is overlooked by their romantic interest, who instead pursues the ‘bad boy,’” Kostelny says. “In reality, truly nice people rarely finish last, because they are more likely to create community and friendships that result in life satisfaction.”

Happiness and well-being

Nice people are happier. Why? The primary driver of happiness is meaningful relationships, according to the Harvard Longevity Study, the longest-running study on happiness in the world. “Typically, kind people tend to be happier and can form more durable friendships, and they also have stronger romantic relationships,” Bumpous says. “Overall, kindness is linked to higher well-being for the person who’s being kind.”

It is also true that being kind—as in selflessly helping someone else—has been linked over and over in the research to more feelings of happiness. In a 2018 meta-analysis that reviewed 27 experiments involving more than 4,000 people, researchers found that people who performed acts of kindness reported significantly higher well-being than those who didn’t.

So do nice guys actually finish last?

Usually not, but the ones who do tend to be either pushovers or are being performatively nice. The latter is when people are being kind … but also looking to get something out of it vs. doing it selflessly. Looking back at my experience, I can see now that I was being both a pushover and performatively nice. So perhaps it’s not surprising that I didn’t get the result I was looking for. But when you’re looking at success, it’s important to play the long game. 

“In the short term, aggressive or selfish behavior can pay off, making it look like the nice guy finished last, but in the long run, your reputation catches up with you,” Mendler says. “People remember who treated them well, who treated them poorly and who was only nice when they wanted something.”

Is there a difference between nice guys and nice girls?

Yes, but it’s mostly in how they’re judged by other people, not in how nice they actually are. “There is a definite difference in expectations,” Mendler says. “Aggressive and assertive behavior is often rewarded in men and penalized in women.” He explains that a man who pushes hard may be viewed as strong, while a woman who behaves the same way may be viewed as difficult.

Women are also generally expected to be more accommodating and conflict-averse. As a result, women in the workplace can be looked down on both for being too soft and for not being soft enough. “It is a double standard that many well-meaning people are not aware of,” he says. 

But men can be negatively affected by these stereotypes as well. “On the flip side, nice men can be seen as less dominant or soft,’ so both genders can get punished,” Bumpous says. “It just shows up in different ways.”

How can you be nice without being a pushover?

It’s about being kind while also having boundaries—and those boundaries need to be nonnegotiable. Now, it’s important to say that setting limits does not mean you’re being mean. “A kind person helps because they want to,” Mendler explains. “A pushover helps because they don’t feel comfortable saying no.”

Bumpous adds that kindness paired with self-respect, self-awareness of your boundaries and honesty about what you can and cannot do—and being assertive about it—is the magic formula. Kostelny adds: “Contrary to popular belief, a person can be both nice and ambitious. The important thing is to lift yourself up at the same time you are lifting others.”

Here’s how to make it work.

• Run the “Did I truly choose this?” test. Bumpous explains that “a ‘yes’ from a pushover comes from fear and not necessarily choice. It’s helpful to ask yourself, ‘Did I truly choose this? Or was I afraid of the reaction if I said no?’ Feeling resentment after saying yes is a big clue.”
• Ask yourself what your motive is. Mendler says that “if someone asks too much of you and you still agree because you’re afraid of upsetting them, you’re being a pushover. If someone treats you poorly and you allow it to continue because you want to avoid conflict, you’re being a pushover. You can be generous and magnanimous without giving other people control over you.”
• Learn to say no (without a five-paragraph apology). “No” is a complete sentence, and it can also be a kind one. “The idea is you can say no without overexplaining, give without keeping score and check in with yourself: What do you have capacity for?” Bumpous says.
• Be honest about what you need. You can be nice and still be more assertive, confidently expressing your needs while being open to listen to, understand and compromise with others. “The important thing is to practice both kindness and self-advocacy in these roles when working toward specific goals,” Kostelny says.
• Set boundaries. A boundary is simply stating you will do X if Y happens. It’s not about changing the other person’s behavior; it’s about your reaction to it. “If you don’t set boundaries, favors can quickly become expectations, and some people will keep taking until you stop giving,” Mendel says. Which, by the way, is exactly what happened in my job.

So what should you really take away from all of this?

Looking back, I can now see that what I thought of as “being nice” was actually an early-ingrained trauma response that turned me into a nuclear-level people pleaser. I didn’t just want people to like me. I wanted to be so useful that nobody would ever have a reason to be mad at me. Essentially, I had confused being useful with being worthy. 

At the time, it felt devastating. I had followed all the rules I thought I was supposed to follow. I worked hard. I helped. I stayed late. I said yes. I made myself indispensable. And I thought if I gave enough of myself away, eventually somebody would look at me and say, “You’ve done enough. You deserve something too.” 

Instead, I got a cleaning complaint. 

Being nice doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. Being kind doesn’t mean abandoning yourself. And making yourself indispensable is an awful way to find out whether someone actually values you.

These days, I’m still nice. But it’s because I want to be, not because I need to prove it to someone else.

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on whether nice guys finish last, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who frequently writes about psychology, communication, etiquette and common curiosities for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Christian Bumpous, LMFT, LPC, licensed psychotherapist and founder of Therapie; personal interview, Sept. 18, 2026
• Adam Mendler, MBA, creator and host of Thirty Minute Mentors; personal interview, Sept. 17, 2026
• Eliska Kostelny, licensed clinical professional counselor and clinical supervisor at Pure Health Center; personal interview, Sept. 17, 2026
• Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: “Do nice guys—and gals—really finish last? The joint effects of sex and agreeableness on income”
• Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin: “Nice guys finish first: The competitive altruism hypothesis” 
• Journal of Experimental Social Psychology: “Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor.”
• PsyPost: “For Majority of Women, Nice Guys Finish First”
• Sex Roles: “Physical attractiveness and the ‘nice guy paradox’: Do nice guys really finish last?” 
• Sex Roles: “Niceness and dating success: A further test of the nice guy stereotype”

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The post Do Nice Guys (and Gals) Really Finish Last? Here’s What the Science Actually Says appeared first on Reader's Digest.

And plenty of people do. Pyrex, the Corning brand best known for its heat-resistant glass bakeware and kitchenware, became a staple in American kitchens in the 20th century. Today, vintage Pyrex has gone from kitchen cupboard staple to collector’s item, with certain patterns and pieces selling for hundreds—or, in some cases, thousands—of dollars. Suddenly, that old casserole dish isn’t just holding dinner; it might be holding a little nest egg.

The catch? That old dish isn’t valuable simply because it’s old. You need to look for the pieces collectors covet, which means you have to know which Pyrex items in your grandparents’ kitchen or in that thrift store are the ones to get excited about.

To find out how to spot a hidden gem—and estimate just how much it might sell for—I consulted three Pyrex experts: Kayleigh Davies, an antiques and collectibles specialist at Auctionet UK; Jolene Forrester, owner of vintage shop JoRetro; and Anna Pan, owner of the Etsy shop VCPvintagekitchen. Let’s dig in.

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Why are Pyrex items so valuable?

The biggest factor is simple: There aren’t many of them. According to Davies, the rarest pieces tend to be patterns that weren’t mass-produced, including prototypes and limited-production promotional pieces. Many were made for a short period or never made it into regular production.

And there’s a reason so few survived. Pyrex wasn’t sold as a collectible; it was sold to be used. Over the decades, pieces were broken, scratched, faded and separated from their lids and accessories.

But “rarity matters much less if nobody likes the pattern,” Davies adds. The most valuable pieces, she explains, are the ones that “still look great in modern homes and are worth showing off.” That combination—scarcity and desirability—creates the real collector’s market.

The appeal has broadened too. TV shows like Mad Men and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel have helped renew enthusiasm for vintage Pyrex and the colorful mid-century aesthetic that surrounds it, perhaps contributing to more competition for pieces at thrift stores and garage sales.

Which pattern is worth the most?

If there’s one pattern that has achieved mythical status among Pyrex collectors, it’s Lucky in Love. “It’s the undisputed holy grail of Pyrex,” says Pan. The 1959 promotional casserole features green grass, four-leaf clovers and pink hearts.

In 2017, a Lucky in Love 1-quart round casserole dish donated to Goodwill of Western New York sold on the organization’s online auction site for $5,994, after 60 bidders competed for it.

According to Pan and Davies, an authenticated example can fetch from $4,000 to more than $5,000 at auction, depending on condition and the intensity of its coloration. Forrester’s estimate is considerably higher: $10,000-plus in the collector’s market. She also notes that prices for extremely rare Pyrex aren’t always publicly available.

What other patterns and pieces could be worth a bundle?

Lucky in Love gets the headlines, but it isn’t the only Pyrex that collectors are hunting. Here are 10 other patterns and pieces worth knowing if you’re rifling through the attic, a thrift store or an estate sale—and what experts think they’re worth. Keep in mind that a pattern doesn’t have one fixed price. The exact piece, colorway, condition, completeness and place of sale can all affect the final price.

Turquoise Golden Birds Space Saver

This 1960s turquoise rectangular casserole, decorated with metallic gold birds, is one of the rarest pieces on the collector’s market. Davies says it was likely made for Corning employees, with very few examples known.

How much it could be worth: $5,000 to more than $7,500, with the original decorated lid potentially adding significant value

Clover Berry

Don’t let the delicate name fool you: Clover Berry is a serious collector’s item. Forrester specifically flags the rare 1960s pattern, distinguished by its clover-and-berry motif found only on the 2.5-quart Cinderella casserole. (By the way, the shape gets its name from the flared ends, which resemble Cinderella’s glass slipper; one serves as a handle, and the other as a pour spout.)

How much it could be worth: $6,000 for rare examples

New Mexico

Sometimes the biggest Pyrex find is the one that doesn’t say Pyrex. “New Mexico” is a collector name for an unusual, unmarked 1.5-quart oval casserole thought to be a test piece in the 1950s and 1960s that never went into regular production. It comes in several unusual colorways and features a geometric, starburst-like design. Because it lacks a Pyrex backstamp, it’s easy to overlook.

How much it could be worth: $6,000-plus for rare examples

Atomic Starburst

Atomic Starburst has the bold, geometric look of mid-century design. But in this 1960 pattern, color is key. Davies says the turquoise version went into production, while black and peach pieces likely weren’t regularly sold to the public—making those unusual colors particularly interesting to collectors.

How much it could be worth: Up to about $1,500 for a turquoise casserole; $4,000-plus for rare black or peach designs

Atomic Eyes Chip-and-Dip Set

The Atomic Eyes chip-and-dip set is one of Pyrex’s more unusual designs, featuring an atomic-inspired eye motif. (And yes, those are apparently eyes!)

How much it could be worth: $700 to $1,000 for a complete set, which includes the metal bracket that holds the smaller bowl above the larger one

Golden Sunflower Daisy

This 1968 promotional pattern features large orange-and-yellow daisy graphics—a much bolder look than many of the more familiar Pyrex patterns.

How much it could be worth: $2,000 to more than $5,000 for a pristine casserole dish with a lid

Pumpkin Butterprint

Butterprint is one of Pyrex’s most recognizable patterns, featuring Amish-inspired roosters, wheat and farm tools. The rarer Pumpkin Butterprint version, released in 1965, swaps the familiar turquoise-and-white color scheme for pumpkin orange and was offered as a Cinderella bowl set through the S&H Green Stamps program rather than sold at regular retail. Davies recently saw a four-piece set, including one chipped bowl, sell for $1,400.

How much it could be worth: $200 to $300 for an individual bowl; $1,300 to $1,750-plus for a complete set

Pink Gooseberry

Pink Gooseberry, introduced in 1957, features a delicate berry-and-floral pattern in pink and white. It had a full production run, so it doesn’t command the same prices as the rarest test and promotional pieces, but pristine sets can still be valuable.

How much it could be worth: Roughly $200 to $1,000-plus

Super DeLuxe “UFO” Casserole

This promotional piece, released in 1956, looks like it could have landed straight out of a sci-fi movie. Officially called the Super Deluxe Casserole, the turquoise round baking dish came with a brass-tone metal lid and was produced for a short time. Finding a complete set—with its original lid and elaborate three-legged candle warmer—is especially appealing to collectors.

How much it could be worth: $800 to $1,500 for a complete set

Snowflake Blue

If the pieces above have you thinking vintage Pyrex collecting requires a five-figure budget, Snowflake Blue offers a more accessible entry point. It’s an early 1970s pattern with a snowflake motif, sometimes nicknamed Garland by collectors. Davies recommends it for someone who wants to collect vintage Pyrex without immediately chasing the rarest, priciest pieces.

How much it could be worth: Around $300 for a set of mixing bowls or a casserole dish

What should you look for on a Pyrex piece to see if it’s worth something?

You don’t need to memorize every Pyrex pattern ever made. Start with the basics. Forrester says to watch for unusual turquoise, pink or gold-decorated pieces, atomic designs, Space Savers, chip-and-dip bowls and unfamiliar color combinations. Then turn the piece over and look for the PYREX backstamp, model number and capacity. Lucky in Love, for example, is a #473 casserole. But don’t automatically dismiss something because you can’t find the expected marking. “Some experimental Pyrex wasn’t marked normally,” she says.

The Corning Museum of Glass’s Pattern Library can help with identification, while its research library offers books, trade catalogs and advertisements that can provide additional context. The museum itself does not provide appraisals.

Davies’s advice is even simpler: “If I like it and I think it looks fashionable, chances are other people do too.” If a piece catches your eye at a thrift store or estate sale, she says, stop and investigate.

And don’t overlook something just because it’s incomplete. An odd metal bracket, warming cradle or glass lid could be exactly what a collector needs to complete a set. Forrester says original accessories can be among the hardest pieces to find.

If you have one of these items, should you sell it?

Maybe … but don’t rush to sell it. Before putting a potentially valuable piece on the market, document and examine it carefully. Photograph the front, back, underside, backstamp, model number, lid and any accessories, and note where you found it and anything you know about its history. Clear photos and provenance can help establish exactly what you have. 

Condition matters too. Glossy color and crisp graphics are desirable to collectors, while chips, cracks, fading, scratches, paint loss and utensil marks can significantly reduce value. Pan estimates that poor condition can cut the value of a rare pattern by 80% to 90%; Davies puts the potential reduction from damage at up to 75%, depending on how much it affects the piece’s appearance.

Forrester notes that with extremely rare pieces, however, “rarity can trump condition.” So don’t assume an imperfect piece is worthless.

Completeness can matter just as much. “Collectors are looking for complete items when it comes to things like a set of four nesting mixing bowls or a casserole dish with a lid,” says Davies. “If you only have three of the mixing bowls, I’d recommend selling them separately for people who are looking for replacements for single pieces in their own set.” She recently saw a three-piece Pink Gooseberry mixing-bowl set sell for $360, compared with up to $1,000 for a complete set of four.

And don’t restore it first. Scrubbing off decoration, repainting worn areas or attempting repairs can alter the original finish and potentially diminish its value. Establish what you have before you try to improve it.

If you decide to sell, where can you get big bucks?

For common and moderately collectible pieces, online marketplaces such as eBay, Etsy and Facebook Marketplace can connect you directly with buyers. Each platform has its own fees, audience and selling process, so compare recent sold listings and the costs involved before choosing where to list. Also, research completed sales—not just asking prices. What sellers hope to get isn’t necessarily what buyers have actually paid.

If you think you’ve found something particularly rare or valuable, consider getting an opinion from a specialist antique dealer or reputable auction house. For a truly rare piece, an auction may be worth considering, since it can put the item in front of multiple collectors rather than relying on a single buyer. Getting more than one opinion can also give you a better sense of the market before you accept an offer.

If you just want to enjoy that vintage Pyrex yourself, what do you need to know?

Before you put vintage Pyrex to work in your kitchen, take a close look at the piece itself. Check for chips, cracks, scratches or other damage, and avoid pieces with significant damage.

Lead is another concern when discussing vintage Pyrex. The Corning Museum of Glass identifies individual vintage Pyrex pieces in its collection as non-lead glass or non-lead opalware glass, but that doesn’t establish the composition of every piece. Vintage colored and patterned Pyrex, like vintage Corelle dinnerware, can contain lead in its exterior decorative paint or enamel, while the food-contact surface is generally undecorated glass. If you’re concerned about lead exposure, research the specific piece and its decoration.

Once you’ve determined a piece is suitable for use, follow a few simple rules:

• Hand-wash it. Skip the dishwasher. Harsh detergents can damage the exterior finish on vintage decorated Pyrex, leaving those once-shiny patterns dull or faded.
• Keep it out of the microwave. This is especially important for pieces with decorative coatings or parts that aren’t made of glass.
• Avoid sudden temperature changes. Treat vintage Pyrex gently when moving it between hot and cold environments. Sudden temperature changes can put stress on the glass.
• Consider not using it. If you’ve found an exceptionally rare piece, you may want to display it rather than make it your everyday casserole dish.

I mean, how beautiful would that Golden Sunflower Daisy casserole look on my countertop? Guess I need to go hit up a flea market.

Sources:

• Kayleigh Davies, antiques and collectibles specialist at Auctionet; email interview, Sept. 18, 2026
• Jolene Forrester, owner of JoRetro, a vintage and retro lifestyle shop in Havre de Grace, Maryland; email interview, Sept. 18, 2026
• Anna Pan, owner of the Etsy shop VCP Vintage Kitchen; email interview, Sept. 18, 2026
• Corning Museum of Glass: “Pattern Library”
• eBay
• Etsy
• Goodwill of Western New York: “Rare Pyrex Sells for Record Price!”
• Pyrex Passion: “Bakeware Patterns”

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In an exclusive interview with Reader’s Digest, Tisdale let us in on this very different—and decidedly cozier—chapter of her life. She shared her thoughts on motherhood, her beloved pets Sushi and Ziggy, and the fall traditions she looks forward to every year (pumpkin fans, you’re in good company). And because we couldn’t have Tisdale with us without channeling our inner Disney kid, we asked the questions longtime fans are probably wondering too: Does she ever rewatch High School Musical? And have her daughters seen their mom as Sharpay or discovered any of her other Disney alter egos?

Read on for our candid conversation with Ashley Tisdale, including details on her latest collaboration and a sneak peek at what’s next for her.

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This interview took place on Sept. 22, 2026, and has been edited for length and clarity.

Reader’s Digest: It’s cozy season! Fall has that back-to-school feel, not only for kids but also for adults. Is there anything about this time of year that makes you feel particularly nostalgic? 

Ashley Tisdale: Fall is so special to me because my husband and I got engaged in August, like 14 years ago, and then we got married 12 years ago in September. Whenever this time comes around, it makes me so happy. I love a chai latte around this time. It’s so yummy. We love to make the kids pumpkin pancakes. Fall takes me back to really special moments.

Reader’s Digest: Speaking of special moments, is there something from the early 2000s that you would love to bring back—and something that you’re happy we left in the past? Personally, I’m loving the skirts-over-jeans combo. 

Ashley Tisdale: It’s crazy you brought that up! [Someone I follow] was wearing a skirt over jeans in one of her social posts. I’m like, She’s bringing it back. I loved it too. Something I would not bring back is leg warmers—you know, the Abercrombie & Fitch leg warmers. That was a moment in time that should just stay there and never see the light of day again.

Reader’s Digest: What’s your ultimate fall-comfort lineup? 

Ashley Tisdale: I love the movie The Holiday. Any Nancy Meyers movie is my favorite. I’ve always been a humongous fan of hers, so even my 5-year-old loves Father of the Bride.

Reader’s Digest: High School Musical is such a comfort watch too. Do you ever rewatch the films? And have your children seen them?

Ashley Tisdale: My 5-year-old has definitely watched it and loves it. I don’t watch myself very often. It’s so funny because I definitely watched Disney growing up. I like movies like Hocus Pocus. But I don’t really watch the Disney movies as much now, and we keep it to a minimum. She’s a huge fan of the movie, but there’s only so many times I can listen to the songs and watch the movies.

Reader’s Digest: How has being a mom changed the way you look back at the younger version of yourself? 

Ashley Tisdale: Being a mom kind of connects me to my mom. I feel like it’s the best thing in the entire world. I love being a mom. I wasn’t someone who, when young, was like, Oh, one day I’m gonna get married and have kids. I was so focused on my work and career, and so I didn’t really think like that. I didn’t even expect it, and then obviously I got married and ended up having kids, so it’s kind of a surprise.

Mom and Dad say it all the time. They’re like, “Oh, my gosh, Jupiter is so you.” She’s definitely entertaining. It’s in her blood, and she loves musical theater and music. My husband is a composer, so she really does love music, and she’s really good at singing. I don’t want her in the business. I want her to choose it for herself if she wants to. But there is this thing in her that I see that I’m like, Wow, that’s what I probably was like.

Reader’s Digest: Fall tends to be when everyone gets back into routines after summer. What does getting your household back into a rhythm look like for you? 

Ashley Tisdale: We always try to stay in a rhythm. A routine is something that I think kids thrive with, so they do have a certain bedtime. We love to vacation in the summer, but we really try to always keep them on track. 

Reader’s Digest: Is there anything you always do to reset yourself at this time of year? 

Ashley Tisdale: I love meditations. Sometimes in the summer, I tend to fall off. I do it every single afternoon. I try to check in and do a little five-minute meditation. It’s just so good for our nervous systems. Having kids is always crazy and chaotic. [There’s] screaming, running around and then crying. It’s a lot, so I do try to take care of myself in that way.

Reader’s Digest: During this interview, you’ve been holding one of your adorable pets, Sushi. Where did her name come from? 

Ashley Tisdale: Sushi is just my love for sushi. At one point in my life, like right when I got her, I had take-out sushi. I had too many tuna rolls, so they were like, “You cannot have sushi for a minute. It was too much mercury.” So I was like, “What am I going to name her?” I’m like, “Oh, Sushi, because I can’t have it, but I love it!”

Reader’s Digest: Ziggy and Sushi are both part of the family. How would you describe their personalities, and who would you say causes the most mess at home? 

Ashley Tisdale: Ziggy definitely causes the most mess. She’s a very little, anxious dog. Their personalities are really cute. Sushi is just like a stuffed animal. I swear, she just sleeps with me. She’s just cuddled up right next to me.

Ziggy sleeps with us too, but she’s at the end of the bed. She does not want to be touching you, but Sushi’s just a little lover. She’s so sweet. She’ll let the kids pick her up and everything. Ziggy’s a little bit more all over the place. 

Reader’s Digest: How does enrichment fit into Ziggy and Sushi’s routine, especially when it comes to your partnership with Nylabone’s new chew toys with real meats?

Ashley Tisdale: I’m someone who cares what’s in my kids’ food and my food. So, of course, I’m going to care about what my dogs are chewing on and eating as well.  Ziggy does have anxiety, and so one of the tools that trainers have told us in the past was to distract her, and that’s usually with treats and chew toys. This is just something that keeps her entertained for hours. She loves it. Chewing also helps them be calmer.

I have so much going on during the day. I have two kids. It’s crazy in the morning. It’s chaotic, and so to have just a product that you can trust to give to your dogs, keeps them happy and is also really healthy for their gums, Nylabone was a no-brainer.

Reader’s Digest: What’s next for Ashley Tisdale?

Ashley Tisdale: There are so many exciting things coming up, but I can’t share too much. My product line, Being Frenshe, just launched at Ulta, which has been such a huge goal of mine. It’s really cool to see something that I created there.

Reader’s Digest: Dogs or cats?

Ashley Tisdale: Definitely dogs.

Reader’s Digest: Mornings or nights?

Ashley Tisdale: Mornings.

Reader’s Digest: Aisle seat or window?

Ashley Tisdale: Window.

Reader’s Digest: Would you rather travel to the past or the future?

Ashley Tisdale: I was thinking about this the other day. Probably the past. I think the future would leave me with too many questions. I’ll get anxious.

Reader’s Digest: What is your favorite book?

Ashley Tisdale: The Power to Heal.

Reader’s Digest: If you weren’t an actress or singer, what would you be doing?

Ashley Tisdale: I run a company, so I definitely think I have a thing for branding. I’d probably do brand marketing. 

Reader’s Digest: What advice would you give to your younger self?

Ashley Tisdale: Keep going. You’ll get there.

*Editor’s note: Reader’s Digest does not endorse any specific products or services. 

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this interview with Ashley Tisdale, Reader’s Digest Associate Editor Mariah Thomas tapped her experiences as a celebrity interviewer, writer and editor. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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But should I be putting a stop to this mid-picking fruit gorging? Yes, everyone does it, but as with so many things, that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea! I don’t want to be a party pooper here, but I have to wonder if it’s actually safe or healthy to eat an apple straight off the tree. After all, I always wash my apples when I bring them home from the supermarket. Is washing equally important when you’re getting your fruit straight from the source?

To find out, I spoke with Jessica Brantley-Lopez, a registered dietitian nutritionist who also coaches organizations on food safety and sanitation. Read on to find out the answer to this fall debate—and decide if you’re willing to take the risk.

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Is it OK to eat an apple right off the tree when apple picking?

Technically, no, it’s not ideal. “Even though [that apple] may look clean, it has been growing outdoors and can be exposed to bacteria from animals, soil, water or even people handling the fruit,” Brantley-Lopez says. “If you’re at an orchard, there may also have been agricultural sprays used on the trees.” Yep, she’s talking about pesticides. (More on that below.)

The best-case scenario? You consume something yucky. The worst case, of course, is that you get sick. “You just don’t know what that apple may have been exposed to,” she explains. “That’s why rinsing it first is such an easy step to reduce your risk.”

What icky things might you find on an apple?

Since apples are growing outdoors, there are quite a few things that can make their way onto the surface of the fruit. Here are the most likely culprits.

Dirt

Sure, kids may eat dirt from time to time. But do we really want them to eat it if we can prevent it? And do we want to eat it ourselves? I’d guess that the answer to both those questions is no. According to the National Library of Medicine, there’s nothing inherently poisonous or dangerous about dirt itself, but it can contain chemicals, fertilizers, parasites, fungus or toxins that could make you ill, and you might not be able to see those things on the surface of the apple.

Animal contamination

There could be bird poop or schmutz from other animals on the apples, says Brantley-Lopez. And any contamination that comes from animals, even if it’s only a little bit, could expose you to illness-causing bacteria. When it comes to bird poop, in particular, there’s a risk of contracting psittacosis, a respiratory infection. You don’t actually need to consume the bird poop to catch this bug; it’s most commonly spread by inhaling dust that contains dried bird droppings. People who have a lot of contact with birds, like poultry workers, bird owners or pet-shop employees, are at a greater risk, but you could still get it if you pick and bite into an apple that has some of this dust on it.

Other bacteria

Bacteria from animal contamination isn’t the only thing you need to worry about. There could be other bacteria growing on the apple, transferred from the soil or water while the apple was growing. The most harmful one is listeria, which is generally found near the stem or on the bottom of the apple, per Washington State University. Listeria can cause unpleasant gastrointestinal symptoms, according to the Mayo Clinic, but it can be much more serious for pregnant people and folks with weakened immune systems.

There was a listeria outbreak in 2014 linked to commercially produced caramel apples; the caramel coating created an ideal environment for the bacteria to grow. And while there haven’t been any outbreaks tied to fresh apples recently, it’s still something you should be aware of.

Germs from other people’s hands

“At a busy apple orchard, you don’t know how many people may have touched that apple before you picked it,” says Brantley-Lopez. You also don’t know how recently they washed their hands. Apples are not the same as countertops or doorknobs—after all, they have a waxy surface and a certain level of moisture—but the germs that cause respiratory infections, the flu and norovirus, for instance, may survive for a few hours on the fruit’s surface if someone with one of these illnesses touched it but decided not to pick it. Then, if you ate it before washing it … well, you know how that story ends. 

Pesticide residue

“Depending on the orchard, there could also be pesticide residue or other agricultural sprays on the surface of the apple,” Brantley-Lopez says. According to a 2025 report from the USDA’s National Agricultural Statistics Service, 77% of apple growers use insecticides and 75% use fungicides, so there’s a very high chance that your local orchard is using some sort of spray to protect its apples from bugs and diseases.

Eating one apple with some pesticides on it likely won’t cause any immediate harm, but long-term exposure has been associated with diseases like cancer and neurological disorders.

Bugs

There could be an ant or another small bug crawling across the surface of the apple. Chances are, you’ll notice this and flick it off, but what happens if you’re distracted by your kids and you forget to look before you take a bite? Just … yuck.

Is it safe to eat apples straight off the tree at some orchards?

Perhaps if the orchard only uses organic farming practices or doesn’t use pesticides? Unfortunately, that’s also a no. “Organic versus non-organic doesn’t really change the risk of bacterial contamination,” says Brantley-Lopez. “An organic apple can still be exposed to animals, soil, water and people handling it. And organic doesn’t always mean pesticide-free. Some approved sprays can still be used.”

Can you actually get sick from eating an apple off a tree?

Yes. “Depending on what may be on the apple, you could experience anything from mild stomach upset, nausea or diarrhea to a more serious foodborne illness,” Brantley-Lopez says. “Some bacterial infections can become severe enough to require a hospital visit.”

I mentioned some of the possible infections you could catch earlier, but what it boils down to is that you just don’t know what chemicals or contamination the apple has been exposed to when you pick it. As a result, it’s hard to say how large of a risk you’re taking by munching on it without washing it.

Is there a proper way to clean it off in the orchard so it’s safe?

Yep—the old rinse ‘n’ rub is enough to reduce dirt and bacteria on the surface of the apple, says Brantley-Lopez. “Many orchards have washing stations available, sometimes right in the picking area,” she adds. “And you don’t need soap or a special produce wash. Plain running water is best.” If you’re apple picking with kids and already toting a bag with you, consider bringing a bottle of water or a small spray bottle so you can rinse off the apples before eating them.

That said, this advice applies to unbroken, unbruised apples that are still hanging from the tree. “If an apple has fallen on the ground, check it carefully for bruising, cracks or other damage,” Brantley-Lopez says. “A fallen apple isn’t automatically bad, but once the skin is damaged, there is more opportunity for contamination.” And if the apple actually looks bad, even a little, it’s best to just leave it there.

Do you also need to clean apples from the supermarket?

Yes, the same rules apply to apples from the grocery store. “Even if apples were rinsed during packing, they can still pick up dirt or bacteria during transportation, handling or at the grocery store,” says Brantley-Lopez.

That goes for apples you plan to peel or cook with too. “Cutting or peeling can transfer bacteria from the outside of the apple to the inside,” she explains, so it’s still important to wash it.

The bottom line: At the very least, splash some water on your apples before they make it to your mouth or your kids’ mouths.

Sources:

• Jessica Brantley-Lopez, RDN, registered dietitian nutritionist and food safety instructor; email interview, Sept. 16, 2026
• National Library of Medicine: “Dirt – swallowing”
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: “About Psittacosis”
• Washington State University Extension Consumer Food Safety: “Got Apples?”
• Mayo Clinic: “Listeria infection”
• Epidemiology & Infection: “Multistate outbreak of Listeria monocytogenes infections linked to whole apples used in commercially produced, prepackaged caramel apples: United States, 2014–2015”
• USDA’s National Agricultural Statistics Service: “2025 Agricultural Chemical Use Fruit Crops”
• Toxicology Reports: “A systematic review of pesticide exposure, associated risks, and long-term human health impacts”

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Sheesh, I thought, ready to cocoon myself in bubble wrap. Can things get worse?

I envisioned choking to death on my dinner, ingesting some other shard of ceramic or maybe slipping in the shower later that night and hitting my head. I wasn’t sure my evening could recover.

It’s a thing, this downward spiral of doom. We all do it. But do we make it worse for ourselves? And do we have the power to turn our days around, or are we cursed once the spiral begins? To find out, I spoke with experts in psychology and neurology: Patrice Le Goy, PhD, a psychologist, therapist and adjunct professor; Matthew Leahy, PhD, a licensed psychologist in private practice; and Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, a New York City–based neuropsychologist.

It turns out that the spiral is real—though also semi-self-created. “The first bad thing may happen to us,” says Leahy. “But then our brain starts helping build the case that the whole day is ruined.” It doesn’t have to be, though.

Read on to learn some surprisingly easy ways to boost your mood and make things a whole lot better—and also recognize when it’s time to call it a day.  

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Is there a scientific reason that some days are particularly awful?

Believe it or not, yes. A day that seems to be spiraling out of control comes down to both how your brain is wired to notice threats and what’s happening chemically once it decides something qualifies as one.

Le Goy points to negativity bias. “Bad days can spiral because we often give more attention to negative things than we do to positive ones,” she says. We’ve evolved this way to protect ourselves. “Negative experiences are more likely to feel threatening, and so to stay ‘safe,’ we have to be vigilant in recognizing these threats.” Plus, we tend to focus on the facts that support our new theory that everything is a disaster, and this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. That mindset can shift our mood and our actions, inadvertently setting us up for more negative interactions.

But there’s more to it than simply perspective. “The amygdala is heavily involved in sounding the alarm,” Hafeez says. “If your brain decides there is a threat, it signals areas such as the hypothalamus to get the body ready to respond. Your heart may beat faster, your muscles tense and your attention can narrow toward whatever seems wrong.” Once that response is underway, she explains, “it can become harder for the prefrontal cortex—the part that helps with reasoning, perspective and self-control—to have as much influence over your reaction.”

That alarm also triggers a cortisol spike, which sets off a cascade of chemicals that send inflammatory signals through the brain. At the same time, that cortisol suppresses GABA, the neurotransmitter responsible for keeping you calm. With your calming chemical suppressed and your inflammatory signals firing, your brain gets stuck in a heightened, reactive state. That feedback loop is why a single bad moment rarely stays contained to just that moment: It keeps feeding itself. It’s also why, as Hafeez puts it, “the third annoying thing that happens at 4 p.m. can feel much worse than it would have if it happened first thing in the morning,” and why something you’d normally brush off can suddenly feel like the final straw.

What are the scientifically proven ways to recover from a bad day?

Sleep is certainly one of our strongest resets, but you don’t have to wait until the next morning to feel different. “A bad morning can still become a decent afternoon because the brain and body are constantly responding to what is happening in the present,” says Hafeez. “There isn’t a specific neurological point where the brain decides the entire day is ruined. Even after hours of stress, the nervous system can begin calming down when it gets signals that the immediate threat or problem has passed.”

When my own recent bad day went down, in addition to mentally listing all the other things that could go wrong, I chuckled as I envisioned myself as a slapstick comedian a la the Three Stooges or Kramer from Seinfeld, with my mishaps recast as a well-orchestrated, graceful (if goofy!) dance. Turns out, I was using a proven method for pulling myself out of the spiral. And that’s just one of the things you can do to take a beat and stop the inflammation loop when you notice your day going downhill.

Build self-awareness and reflection

“When we are able to pause and stay present, we can stop a bad moment from becoming a bad day,” says Le Goy. She calls this halt the single most important move available to you in the moment. “When we find ourselves spiraling, it is often because we are jumping ahead and making assumptions that the rest of the day will be as bad as this particular moment. When we take a beat, we can decide how we want to move forward, rather than being swept away on the negative emotion wave.”

A 2021 review in the journal Translational Psychiatry found a strong link between anxiety and depression and those who lacked the ability to notice their thoughts and feelings as passing mental events rather than absolute truths. Turning my calamity into a comedy short in my mind’s eye helped interrupt my own spiral.

Being realistic can help as well. Don’t expect you’ll do a full 180 and suddenly have a fantastic day; your mind won’t accept what it doesn’t already believe. Aim for a neutral day, one where you’re back in control of what happens. Part of that is not compounding the problem: Naming what’s actually going on (“I’m keyed up right now”) instead of escalating it into a verdict (“Everything is going wrong”) keeps one rough moment from snowballing into a ruined day.

Try mindfulness practices like journaling or meditation

Identifying what’s going on and calling it out can help break the spiral. Saying or writing out loud “I’m having a bad day” can be the beat you need to separate yourself from the negativity. “I feel like I’m a mess today” hits differently than “I’m a mess.”

The science backs this up. A 2022 study found that five 30-minute weekly mindfulness sessions significantly dropped serum cortisol and perceived stress levels in nursing students. Another showed that a mindfulness retreat produced bigger drops in cortisol and inflammatory markers than a comparison group who simply took a vacation with no structured practice. Rest alone didn’t move the needle; structured mindfulness did.

Change your physical environment

“If everything is irritating you, leave the room and do something random, even if it’s just walking around Target or taking a drive while blasting music,” says Hafeez. “A change of scenery can make the bad part of the day feel like it belongs to an earlier chapter rather than the rest of your day.” Even moving to a different room can be enough to interrupt the spiral.

A 2023 study put that theory to the test: 100 people took a 30-minute walk in either a natural or urban setting, and both groups showed significant, equal improvements in mood. Positive affect increased, and negative affect dropped, surprisingly with no real difference between the nature and city settings. The takeaway: Getting outside and moving your body seems to boost your mood regardless of the scenery, meaning the shift in context itself may be doing the heavy lifting.

Get up and move

Moving your body helps take you out of threat mode, even if it’s brief: a walk around the block, a few jumping jacks or anything else that shifts your physical state. “Get up and move, and get that stress hormone cortisol out of the body,” Leahy says. “You don’t need a workout. A brisk walk, stretching or doing something physically active can help move your attention out of your head and back into your body.”

The reason? According Hafeez, that movement gives the body “somewhere to put the energy that comes with a stress response and can help shift attention away from the stressful event.”

Experts more formally established that in a 2021 study where 83 young men did 30 minutes of treadmill exercise at varying intensities, then faced a stressful task 45 minutes later. The harder they’d worked out, the faster their bodies calmed back down afterward: Those who exercised vigorously recovered in about 81 minutes, versus 91 minutes for the light-exercise group.

Get into nature

“Nature is one I recommend a lot, and the science on this grows by the day,” Leahy says. “Being outside gives your attention somewhere else to go. Even noticing the sky, trees, weather or something beautiful around you can create some psychological distance from the problem. We don’t have to live in a nature preserve to get this benefit.”

Time outdoors also has a physiological angle: Sunlight, protein-rich food and, eventually, sleep all help your brain replenish the dopamine and serotonin it needs, rather than simply masking a low mood.

Reset your breathing

Slowing your breathing, and making your exhale longer than your inhale, is one of the few direct physical levers you have on your stress response. Even doing it for just a minute can tell your body the emergency is over.

Hafeez explains the science behind that: “Slow breathing with a longer exhale can reduce physiological arousal and encourage the parasympathetic, or ‘rest and recover,’ side of the nervous system to take over.” She’s referring to a 2023 Stanford study of 111 people who spent five minutes a day, for a month, on one of several techniques: cyclic sighing (breathing with long exhales), other breathing patterns or meditation. The breathing groups beat meditation on mood improvement by about a third. And the cyclic-sighing group kept breathing slower all day long, not just during their five minutes of practice, meaning the calming effect stuck around well past the exercise itself.

Though these are separate tips, they’re really all deliberate interruptors that stop the spiral before it gets worse. Le Goy sums up why they work: “All of these practices help us build resilience. When we build resilience, we can learn to manage life’s ups and downs without letting them hijack our emotions.”

What’s the most important thing you can do?

Catch yourself while you’re still in the moment, before the feeling hardens into a verdict about the whole day. “Notice what the brain is doing,” Leahy says. “Don’t make a global judgment while you’re still emotionally activated. Instead of saying, ‘Today is awful,’ try, ‘The last 20 minutes were awful.’ That sounds almost ridiculously simple, but psychologically, it matters.”

That reframe isn’t just a nice idea. A 2022 review of 99 studies found that people who reframe stressful situations, rather than catastrophizing them, tend to be happier and less anxious and depressed. And the skill is trainable fast: Even a week of practice led to measurable improvements in how people handled their emotions.

What’s the worst thing you can do in this moment?

Ironically, trying too hard to feel better. The experts point to the same trap: rushing to shut down the bad feeling instead of letting it exist for a minute.

Leahy says the real damage often comes from what we tell ourselves about being upset in the first place. “Sometimes it’s OK to just have a few hard moments,” he says. People start monitoring themselves, asking things like, “Why am I still upset? Shouldn’t I be over this?” Anytime he hears a patient say “should,” he pushes back. “That’s just the brain talking at you again,” he says. The goal isn’t forcing yourself to feel good—it’s to remind yourself that you’re going to keep living your day while this feeling settles down.

Le Goy agrees. Rushing to declare yourself “over it” skips the chance to actually tolerate the feeling and recover from it.

When should you just throw in the towel for the day?

When you’ve checked in with yourself and realized you’re out of fight, that’s the signal to stop trying to rescue the day and just let it end. But at the same time, realize it’s not the end of the world. “You can acknowledge and accept that you had a tough day without deciding that you are accepting a tough life,” Le Goy says. “The most important thing is taking time to check in with ourselves to see where we are in that moment, while acknowledging that we can make a different decision the next day or when we have the energy to do so.”

“Some evenings, the most productive thing you can do is stop trying to rescue the day,” says Leahy. His prescription is almost anticlimactic in its simplicity: Read a book, turn in early, remind yourself to start fresh tomorrow. You can also eat something, shower, get outside for a few minutes and spend time with someone you like. “Do something familiar and predictable,” he advises. And most important of all: Get some sleep rather than staying up late and mentally rehashing the day.

That evening is also a good time to check in on how you’re talking to yourself. “Self-talk is so powerful,” Le Goy says. “We often believe what we hear over and over, whether from other people or from ourselves.” Her litmus test: Would you say this to a close friend? “If not, it’s time to rethink that internal dialogue.”

Either way, all of the day’s issues don’t need to be resolved before bed. As Leahy puts it: “Tomorrow does not need you to solve today at 11:30 at night.”

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on how to recover from a bad day, Tara Cox tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who frequently covers lifestyle topics and cultural trends. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Patrice Le Goy, PhD, LMFT, MBA, psychologist, therapist, and adjunct professor at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology; email interview, September 2026
• Matthew Leahy, PhD, licensed psychologist in private practice in Dallas; email interview, September 2026
• Sanam Hafeez, neuropsychologist and director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services; email interview, September 2026
• Translational Psychiatry: “Decentering as a Core Component in the Psychological Treatment and Prevention of Youth Anxiety and Depression: A Narrative Review and Insight Report” 
• Advances in Medical Education and Practice: “The Benefits of Mindfulness Meditation on Trait Mindfulness, Perceived Stress, Cortisol, and C-Reactive Protein in Nursing Students: A Randomized Controlled Trial”
• Psychoneuroendocrinology: “A Short Mindfulness Retreat Can Improve Biological Markers of Stress and Inflammation” 
• Frontiers in Psychology: “Measuring Affect and Complex Working Memory in Natural and Urban Environments” 
• Psychoneuroendocrinology: “The Effects of Exercise Intensity on the Cortisol Response to a Subsequent Acute Psychosocial Stressor”
• Cell Reports Medicine: “Brief Structured Respiration Practices Enhance Mood and Reduce Physiological Arousal” 
• Emotion Review: “Positive Cognitive Reappraisal in Stress Resilience, Mental Health, and Well-Being: A Comprehensive Systematic Review” 

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Now Lee is back with the third installment, American Hagwon, and this time, she’s exploring what happens when the pursuit of a better life gets tangled up with the pursuit of a better education. The novel follows John and Helen Koh and their three children after the 1997 Asian financial crisis and a personal betrayal shatter their middle-class life in Seoul. This sends the family first to Sydney and eventually to Southern California. And while the title refers to Korea’s private after-school educational centers, Lee says the story reaches far beyond the classroom. “It’s about education and diaspora and immigration, but mostly it’s about loyalty and sacrifices that we make in order to survive when terrible things that we don’t expect happen,” she tells us.

For this episode of The Reader’s Digest Escalator Interview, we caught up with Lee to talk about American Hagwon, the larger four-book project and where she finds the inspiration for characters who feel so vividly real. Her answer? “People in the real world,” she says. “I interview thousands of Koreans from around the world, and I’m really privileged to know many of them very well.” Of course, we also asked the questions every book lover really wants answered. Lee revealed her favorite reading spot, took us inside her writing routine (yes, there’s coffee), shared the hardest part about being a writer and dished on her writing snack of choice. Because even an epic literary project about the Korean diaspora requires snacks.

Read on for our exclusive interview with Min Jin Lee, and shop her recommended reads below!

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At Reader’s Digest, we’ve been sharing our favorite books for over 100 years. We’ve worked with bestselling authors including Susan Orlean, Janet Evanovich and Alex Haley, whose Pulitzer Prize–winning Roots grew out of a project funded by and originally published in the magazine. Through Fiction Favorites (formerly Select Editions and Condensed Books), Reader’s Digest has been publishing anthologies of abridged novels for decades. We’ve worked with some of the biggest names in fiction, including James Patterson, Ruth Ware, Kristin Hannah and more. The Reader’s Digest Book Club, helmed by Books Editor Tracey Neithercott, introduces readers to even more of today’s best fiction by upcoming, bestselling and award-winning authors. For this piece, Leigh Belz Ray interviewed author Min Jin Lee. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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The internet, naturally, lost its mind over this anecdote. The debate split pretty cleanly along generational lines. Older people saw the drink and thought, Pshaw! We used to go to interviews in our best suits, with our résumés printed on actual paper. Younger people saw the same coffee and thought, OK? And? Others pointed out that maybe the bigger story wasn’t the beverage but the job market, where getting an entry-level job increasingly feels like applying to become an astronaut.

All of which raises the question: Is it actually rude to bring an iced coffee—or tea or water bottle—into a job interview? 

Admit it: You had an immediate gut reaction the second you read that question. As did I. There’s something about the image of an artfully poured coffee in an interview that feels either inappropriately bougie or completely innocuous, depending on how many years you’ve spent being told to “dress for the job you want.”

But as a Millennial, I have the rare privilege of being able to be in this generational battle with very low stakes. I’m just glad that for once no one is yelling at us. I’m not here to referee TikTok, settle the beverage wars between Gen Z vs. everyone else, or confiscate anyone’s Stanley. I’m here to render an etiquette verdict. So let’s do it.

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The case for bringing your cold brew

“It’s taking care of a basic need. I don’t see what the big deal is,” says Rebecca M., a former hiring manager for several large companies who has sat in on hundreds of job interviews. And really, that’s the basis of most of the “go for it” arguments: Humans drink things. “Am I allowed to admit this? I always bring my water bottle. Hydration is very important!” she says. “So maybe I need extra water to be my best self, and maybe they need extra caffeine.” 

Plus, for many people, holding a coffee calms their nerves and gives them something to do with their hands. “It’s one reason why we so often offer a drink to candidates,” she adds. “We want them to feel comfortable.” 

And, most importantly, it does not say anything about the person’s ability to do the job. Unless the job is making coffee. Then I suppose it could be gauche to bring in a rival barista’s work. 

But there is a more subtle reason some people are doing this: a tiny bit of rebellion. Older generations have set the workplace norms for decades, and some of these norms have made basic human needs considerably more complicated than necessary. Think: high heels for walking, three-piece suits in the summer and a devotion to email that feels almost cultlike. 

Norms change. That’s how norms work. “I have heard of this, but mostly as a ‘haha, boomers are so sensitive’ thing,” says Nav A., a Gen Zer who graduated in May and just landed his first job. (Congrats!) Did he bring a drink to his interview? “I always bring a water bottle. It never occurred to me not to,” he says. “For me, it’s such a small thing that if the interviewer has an issue with it, that’s a big red flag that maybe this isn’t somewhere I want to work.”

The case against bringing your emotional support cup

It’s less about the iced latte and more about what the iced latte communicates. Are you taking this seriously? Do you really want this job? Or is this just something to check off on your to-do list? 

First impressions form fast. “Unfortunately, Gen Z is already seen as fragile, oblivious, self-centered and unprepared, and bringing a fancy coffee may reinforce that stereotype,” says Brandon P., a Gen X manager at a tech company who hires a lot of younger people. To be clear, he doesn’t agree with the stereotype and says some of his best workers are Gen Z. “But I’ll be honest: I would think the person was unprofessional. It’s not the worst mistake, but when every little thing counts in a first impression, I’d avoid anything that might bias the interviewer against you.” 

And that’s the real issue: You have no idea who is sitting across from you. The interviewer might be completely unfazed by your almond-milk pumpkin-spice cold brew. They might even think it’s adorable! They might barely register it. Or they might spend the first five minutes of the interview wondering why you couldn’t go 45 minutes without caffeine. Some people might be enraged by it. Or, says Rebecca, they might have misophonia, a common condition that makes people extra sensitive to noises like drinking or slurping.

Then there’s logistics. While holding a cup may comfort you, spilling it all over your lap, the carpet or (heaven forbid) the interviewer is unlikely to improve your chances of getting hired. Is this common? No. But there’s zero chance of this happening if you’re just not holding a drink in the first place. Plus, those iced drinks always form condensation on the outside, which makes them wet and drippy. Then, when the interviewer goes to shake your hand, you’ll only have one hand free, and it might be … moist. Ugh.

There’s also the matter of how you drink it. “I wouldn’t say a drink itself is rude, but I sure have seen people drink it in a very rude way,” Rebecca says. Slurping. Chewing ice. Stirring it noisily. Aggressively crinkling the plastic cup. Leaving drips, napkins, stirrers or the entire beverage behind for someone else to clean up.

But at that point, the problem isn’t that the coffee is rude—it’s that you are rude. 

The gray areas

Not everything is cut and dried (and then added to an herbal tea blend). A lot of good etiquette depends on how you do it. Here are a few factors to consider when deciding whether your beverage should ride along for your interview.

• The industry. Know your audience. Some offices are more casual than others. Interviewing for a social-work position? A coffee is practically part of the uniform. Walking into a law firm with a 32-ounce chocolate monstrosity covered in whipped cream? You may want to reconsider.
• The interview format. Many things that work fine over Zoom don’t translate well in real life, and a large, elaborate drink may be one of those. If your interview is in person, consider skipping the coffee or at least bringing it in a spill-proof mug. 
• The drink type. A closed, spill-free water bottle is the safest beverage choice. Nav says his reusable water bottle was actually a small positive during his interview for a job in the environmental industry, where sustainability mattered. And Rebecca adds: “I think a reusable water bottle just makes you look like a more responsible human in general.” On the other hand, an open coffee or one with a weak lid may make you look careless, while an overly elaborate drink may make you look high-maintenance. 
• What you do with it afterward. Under no circumstances should you leave your used beverage cup on a desk or table where someone else will have to clean it up for you. If you spill, wipe it up. Make sure all wrappers and straws also end up in the garbage.

The verdict

No, it’s not rude to bring an iced coffee to a job interview … but it’s also not risk-free. There’s an important distinction between rude and strategically smart. A drink doesn’t automatically communicate disrespect, laziness or a lack of interest in the job. Plenty of perfectly professional adults drink coffee all day long. But if you’re interviewing somewhere formal, you don’t know the interviewer or you’re already nervous about making a good impression, there’s very little to gain from arriving with a giant iced coffee.

“If you’re not sure if it’s OK, err on the side of safety,” Brandon says. “No one has ever not gotten a job because they didn’t bring in an iced latte.”

And there is a very simple solution: You don’t have to pretend your caffeine addiction doesn’t exist. You can simply finish drinking the coffee before you walk through the door.

At the end of the day, though, I suspect this whole debate may be one of those internet tempests in a teapot. Not one person I talked to had actually witnessed an iced-coffee interview scandal in the wild. And while most agreed they wouldn’t bring a specialty coffee into an interview themselves, they also said they wouldn’t be particularly offended if someone else did.

So perhaps we can all agree that the latte is not the real problem here. There are bigger etiquette questions to fight about, like whether “no problem” is an acceptable response to “thank you” and how many times you can double-text someone before it officially becomes a situation. 

Have a social situation you can’t stop ruminating on? Email us at advice@tmbi.com, or message Charlotte on Instagram at @CharlotteHiltonAndersen.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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So we wanted to give those moments the attention they deserve. From a flight attendant who helped a tired mom to runners who sacrificed their own finish times to astronauts who know the true meaning of friendship, the acts of kindness in this story will give you a little break from everything else going on—and help you remember that good people are still out there doing really good things.

Read on for the heartwarming moments that have made 2026 a little brighter.

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The tip of a lifetime

In late March, Boise pizza delivery driver Dan Simpson learned his Domino’s location had run out of the Diet Coke a customer had ordered. Rather than arrive empty-handed, the 68-year-old stopped at a convenience store and bought the drinks himself. The small gesture was caught on the customer’s Ring camera and went viral—and when people learned Simpson was preparing to retire after 14 years of delivering pizzas, they returned the kindness in a big way. More than 8,000 people contributed $170,000 to a fundraiser for his retirement, allowing “Dan the Man” to officially hang up his delivery bag in May.

A lunch break that led to friendship

During a shift in August, a Wendy’s employee named Dara approached Florida homeowner Abigail Mwaungulu with an unusual request: Could she spend her lunch break on the porch? Mwaungulu said yes, and her Ring camera captured the beginning of a new friendship. As more of Dara’s story came to light—including the fact that she walks to work every day—people watching online wanted to do something for her too. They started a fundraiser that has since brought in more than $17,000 to help with Dara’s transportation, education and whatever she may need for what comes next.

A little help at 30,000 feet

On Sept. 2, Republic Airways flight attendant Monique Harris noticed an exhausted mother nodding off with her baby on a flight from Newark to Grand Rapids, Michigan. When the baby began slipping from the mother’s lap, Harris quickly caught him and offered to hold him while Mom got some much-needed sleep. Another person on the plane snapped a photo of the tender moment, which went viral on Instagram, earning more than 200,000 likes within days.

Talk about a photo finish!

About 1,000 feet from the end of the Boston Marathon in April, American Ajay Haridasse stumbled and fell. Seeing him on the ground, two other runners, Aaron Beggs of Northern Ireland and Robson De Oliveira of Brazil, helped him up, sacrificing their own personal best times to do so. Each draped one of Haridasse’s arms over their shoulders to carry him the rest of the way and across the finish line.

Hollywood honors Catherine O’Hara

Fans of Catherine O’Hara were heartbroken when the beloved comedy icon died in January. Then in March, she posthumously won an Actor Award for her work on the sitcom The Studio. Showrunner Seth Rogen accepted on her behalf, and in his speech, Rogen said of his friend and co-star, “She really showed that you can be a genius and be kind, and one of those things does not have to come at the expense of the other.”

Not golden, but a good sport

American figure skater Ilia Malinin (aka the “Quad God”) was the heavy favorite to win the men’s singles competition at the Winter Olympic Games in Milano Cortina in February. But during his free skate performance, Malinin fell twice and finished well outside of medal contention. Despite his disappointment, Malinin was the first to congratulate the gold medal winner, Mikhail Shaidorov of Kazakhstan. His show of sportsmanship earned him the Fair Play Award, an international prize voted on by the public, after a record-breaking number of votes cast by fans worldwide.

A crater for Carroll

The world watched as the Artemis II astronauts made their 10-day trek around the moon in April. Their journey took them farther from Earth than humans had ever been, making them the first to see certain parts of the far side of the moon. This meant that they also got to propose names for two previously undiscovered craters, and for one of them, they chose to honor the late wife of their commander, Reid Wiseman.

In a video message to Mission Control, an audibly emotional Jeremy Hansen described the crater as “a bright spot on the moon” before saying, “We would like to call it Carroll.” As Hansen spoke, his fellow crew members were seen dabbing at their eyes. Then the four astronauts floated toward one another and embraced in a zero-gravity hug.

Birthday wishes for Willie

While presenting an award at the Academy of Country Music Awards in May, Shania Twain and Shaboozey asked the audience at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas to join them in wishing Willie Nelson a happy birthday. Nelson, who wasn’t in attendance that night, had just turned 93, and an arena full of country music fans wanted the legendary singer/songwriter to feel the love. So in unison, they shouted, “Happy birthday, Willie!” while Shaboozey recorded the moment on his phone to send to the star.

Comics choose respect over ratings

After a decade on the air, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert came to a close in May. Leading up to the last show, many of Colbert’s famous friends stopped by the Ed Sullivan Theater to say goodbye, including fellow late-night hosts Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers and John Oliver. The quintet appeared all together at one of Colbert’s final tapings, and both Kimmel and Fallon (whose time slots coincided with Colbert’s) aired reruns the night of his send-off so as not to compete with their friend’s farewell.

Team Japan cleans up nice

As the FIFA World Cup got underway in June, Japanese soccer fans went viral for how they helped clean up after games, filling blue garbage bags with other people’s trash on their way out of Texas Stadium in Dallas and Estadio Monterrey in Mexico. “We are honored to be here,” one fan explained to USA Today. “So we don’t want to make a mess and then leave it.”

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At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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Now, let me put this out there first: If you’re a night owl, you’re not being lazy. Some of us just aren’t hardwired to be at our peak in the a.m. I’ll admit I need at least three cups of coffee in the morning for my brain to come online. And you’ll never catch me at the gym before work.

So what makes someone an early bird (often called a morning lark) vs. a night owl? And how can a true night person become an up-and-at-’em type? It’s key info to know, living in our morning-oriented world. If you ever have to rise early for school, kids or your job, you may need to nudge your clock forward.

To find out how to do just that, I consulted M. Taruj Ali, MD, a sleep medicine specialist in Fredericksburg, Virginia, and chief medical officer of SOMOS Health Precision Sleep & Metabolic Care, and Brian Gunia, PhD, a professor at Johns Hopkins Carey Business School in Baltimore whose research shattered a huge myth about night people. Read on to learn what determines if you’re a lark or an owl, how your type changes over time, and how to become a morning person—without chugging a vat of espresso every day.

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Why are some people morning people, while others are night owls?

We all have a chronotype, which is a fancy name for your body’s preference for when you sleep and when you wake, says Dr. Ali. Your chronotype reflects your circadian body clock—the roughly 24-hour internal clock that regulates when your body wakes up and sleeps—as well as body temperature and digestion.

Basically, your genes and circadian body clock control whether you hit your stride early or later in the day. “Being a night owl is mostly determined by biology,” Dr. Ali says. “Our brain has a master clock in the suprachiasmatic nucleus (SCN), which is a tiny cluster of cells in the hypothalamus that controls the daily rhythm of sleep and wake cycles.”

Thanks to this internal clock, you have a daily rhythm all your own. “People’s energy naturally ebbs and flows in reliable 24-hour cycles, or circadian processes,” Gunia says. Some of us have peak energy and mental alertness during the morning hours, then drag later in the day. (Um, 4 p.m. slump, anyone?) Others are pretty fatigued in the morning but slowly ramp up their energy and alertness throughout the day, hitting their peak in the evening.

While many of us have a clear preference toward morningness or eveningness, some of us could go either way.

Can you actually change your natural inclination to be a night owl?

We’re not going to sugarcoat it: You can, but it’s no easy task. Since your chronotype is partly genetic and largely controlled by your brain, you’ll have some hoops to jump through. “People can, and do, change their chronotype somewhat,” Gunia says, but he only recommends attempting it for a concrete reason. For example, maybe you need to be up early to take care of a child, or you have a new job that requires you to clock in earlier.

Just keep in mind that you’re most likely to succeed if you follow your new schedule strictly. Translation: No following the rules during the week and then sleeping until noon and partying half the night on the weekends. (Sorry!)

So how do you become a morning person?

To shift your schedule, you need to reset your body’s circadian clock. How the heck do you do that? We’re so glad you asked. With a few simple strategies and a bit of patience, you can learn to seize the day.

Get early light

The single most powerful lever for changing your chronotype is light exposure. “Light that hits the retina is the strongest signal that resets the circadian clock,” Dr. Ali says. Morning light, in particular, shifts our body clock forward. And it’s most likely to make a difference within an hour after waking, according to the CDC’s National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH).

Your best bet is to head outside and soak up natural sunlight first thing in the morning. If you can’t get under the rays within an hour of waking up, there’s a workaround: Sitting near an artificial “light box” with full-spectrum light can also do the trick, Dr. Ali says. The light from one of these special devices hits your retina and triggers your SCN to move up your circadian clock. Look for a light-therapy box that emits 10,000 lux, and sit by it for 10 to 15 minutes after waking (say, sip your coffee by its energizing glow). You can find the devices on Amazon; some even double as alarm clocks.

Microdose melatonin

Melatonin is a natural hormone produced by the brain that helps our bodies know when to zonk out and when to rise. Taking a melatonin supplement—aka a synthetic form of it—can help you fall asleep when you want. To nudge your bedtime (and body clock) earlier, try taking melatonin two hours before bedtime. Stick with a small dose, though, so it doesn’t backfire and throw your system completely off. Dr. Ali recommends 1 to 3 milligrams.

Ban blue light at night

Being around any bright light in the evening will push back your clock, making it tougher to doze off at your chosen bedtime and feel alive in the morning. So it’s a good idea to dim your overheads and avoid devices for at least an hour or two before bed.

Why? Your circadian clock is most sensitive to exposure to light—particularly blue light or full spectrum, which contains blue—at night, when the sun isn’t shining. Even lamplight can mess with your circadian rhythms and make you more of a night owl, so go as dim as you can stand it, particularly close to bedtime.

Overall, it’s a good idea to skip the screens an hour before bedtime. If you have to read on a device or check a quick email, rock blue-light-blocking glasses or use a blue-light filter on your phone. (Yes, they do actually do something!)

Work out … but not too close to bedtime

Getting regular exercise is crucial to sleeping well and being able to get going in the morning. A 2023 study review published in the Cureus Journal of Medical Science found that consistent, moderate exercise may improve sleep quality and cut down on difficulty falling asleep at night. The researchers attributed these benefits to the fact that exercise regulates circadian rhythms and causes your body to release stress-relieving endorphins, as well as neurotransmitters like serotonin that make us more relaxed.

Just one caveat: Don’t do a strenuous session (taking a HIIT class, going for a run) in the evening, because it can make it harder to fall asleep, per this study. That’s likely because intense nighttime exercise pushes back your circadian clock, delaying when your brain releases melatonin (which helps you sleep).

Set an earlier sleep and wake time, and try to stick to it

By being consistent about when you hit the hay and greet the day, you’ll reinforce your earlier-bird schedule. But the transition to becoming a morning lark may be a bit rocky, and that’s perfectly OK. If you happen to have a late night, don’t worry! Just keep on rising on time every day. (It’s hard, we know!)

So what should you do if you fall off the wagon?

First, don’t beat yourself up: It happens. You have a few late nights out. You sleep in. You’re battling jet lag and wide awake at 2 a.m. Here’s Dr. Ali’s advice: First, focus on waking up on time. Don’t worry about your bedtime yet. Just set that early alarm and hop (or drag yourself) out of bed at your desired time.

Then, after a few days of early rising, gradually—over a period of several days—start moving up your bedtime in 30-minute increments. So, for instance, the first night you would move it from midnight to 11:30 p.m.; the next night you aim for 11 p.m., and so on. Before you know it, you should be back on track.

Is it really better to be a morning person instead of a night owl?

The truth is, there’s no best chronotype, and there are pros and cons to both modes. For instance, morning people have better working memories, according to a 2021 study published in Sleep Advances. Meanwhile, “some studies suggest that evening people have slightly greater cognitive ability,” Gunia says. On the other hand, early birds may have a real-life edge, he notes. Night owls get stuck taking their SATs and giving work PowerPoints at 9 a.m., when they’re at a disadvantage.

Health-wise, larks seem to have an advantage. Evening people carry a higher risk for type 2 diabetes, obesity, high cholesterol and heart disease. But Dr. Ali points out that “most of it is because of the mismatch between night owls’ internal clock biology and the morning-oriented world.” Research suggests these higher risks are mostly due to lifestyle habits that are more common in night owls, like eating poorly (and often late), drinking more and not sleeping regularly. 

But the real problem with trying to flip your chronotype is that it usually doesn’t fully work—evening people still feel somewhat fatigued in the morning, according to Gunia. So rather than fighting your biology, he says, it might make more sense to structure your workflow to match your tendency. Case in point: Gunia is a morning person and does his most challenging to-do’s, like writing, first thing in the morning. It’s a sound strategy, according to a 2021 study in Nature Communications, which found larks performed better at learning and attention tasks when they knocked them off in the morning, while night owls did better in the evening. 

And, weirdly enough, our chronotype may also shape when we are our best selves, according to research co-authored by Gunia and published in Psychological Science. The study found we are more ethical during our peak alertness times. While previous research had suggested that most people are more ethical in the morning—known as “the morning morality effect”—Gunia and his colleagues found this is only accurate for morning people. “Evening people seem to be most ethical in the evening,” he says.  “This suggests that people may want to make ethical decisions whenever in the day they feel most alert.” 

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on how to become a morning person, Lisa Lombardi tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who frequently writes about relationships, health and lifestyle for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• M. Taruj Ali, MD, sleep medicine specialist in Fredericksburg, Virginia, and co-founder and chief medical officer of SOMOS Health Precision Sleep & Metabolic Care; email interview, Sept. 8, 2026
• Brian Gunia, PhD, professor at Johns Hopkins Carey Business School in Baltimore; email interview, Sept. 8, 2026
• Sleep Advances: “Chronotype as self-regulation: morning preference is associated with better working memory strategy independent of sleep”
• Sleep: “Genetic Basis of Chronotype in Humans: Insights from Three Landmark GWAS”
• Nature Communications: “Cognitive functions and underlying parameters of human brain physiology are associated with chronotype”
• The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH): “Effects of Light on Circadian Rhythms”
• Cureus Journal of Medical Science: “The Effect of Physical Activity on Sleep Quality and Sleep Disorder: A Systematic Review”
• Psychological Science: “The Morality of Larks and Owls: Unethical Behavior Depends on Chronotype as Well as Time of Day”

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So how did high heels become a fashion statement and a fixture in women’s closets? And after centuries of being revered, are they on their way out? To get to the bottom of it all, we spoke with Elizabeth Semmelhack, director and senior curator at the Bata Shoe Museum in Toronto, Canada.

Read on to learn how high heels climbed to the top of the fashion world—and whether they’re about to come back down to earth.

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When were high heels invented—and who wore them first?

There’s no single inventor we can credit with the high heel, or even an exact date when heels first appeared. What we do know is that they’ve been around for at least 1,000 years and were first worn by men. Their original purpose was all about function, not fashion, and they were mainly used in—get this—horseback riding! (More on that below.) Over the centuries, heels shifted in shape, height and meaning, moving between men’s and women’s wardrobes along the way.

What is the history of the high heel?

High heels have taken a surprisingly winding path from practical footwear to status symbol to fashion staple. Here’s the fascinating history behind high heels.

Persian riders used heels on horseback

The earliest known heels weren’t designed for walking—they were made for riding. “They were worn as far back as the 10th century in Persia as an equestrian tool used in tandem with the stirrup,” says Semmelhack. “This is why cowboys still wear heels.”

Worn mostly by male riders, they were sturdy and practical, with a chunky, block-shaped heel roughly an inch high. That little bit of height was enough to hook the foot more securely into the stirrup. Plus, the shoes themselves were made from tough animal leather, making them easier to withstand riding and harsh outdoor conditions.

Heels made their way into European fashion

By the 16th century, heels were beginning to take on a very different life in Europe. One of the most famous stories from this period of history involves Catherine de’ Medici. When the Italian noblewoman married the Duke of Orléans—the future Henry II of France—in 1533, she was just 14 years old. According to a story that has been repeated for generations, the petite Catherine had specially made heeled shoes created for the wedding to give her some extra height and presence when she arrived at the French court.

It’s a great story, but there’s a catch: Historians have questioned whether Catherine really introduced high heels to France this way, and there isn’t strong evidence to confirm the tale. What her story does show, though, is how closely heels would eventually become tied to European court life and appearance.

By the following century, that connection was much clearer … but men were at the center of it. “Heels entered Western fashion around the turn of the 17th century, with Northern European men adding them to their riding boots first,” Semmelhack says. “Over the course of the 17th century, men throughout Europe began to wear heels for fashion as well.”

And these weren’t men just trying to sneak an extra inch into their shoes. Heels became a real fashion statement, especially in Europe’s royal circles. Louis XIV of France is probably one of the most famous examples. He was known for wearing red heels, a style that became closely associated with his court. England’s Charles II got in on the trend too. A portrait from around 1675 to 1680 shows him wearing square-toed shoes with bright red heels.

Why did men stop wearing high heels?

“Heels were abandoned in men’s fashion for reasons associated with shifting ideas of gender in the 18th century,” Semmelhack says. “Men, it was suggested, were ‘rational,’ and men’s fashion changed to support this new idea of manliness that included the loss of the high heel. Women were positioned as ‘irrational,’ and heels off the horse are arguably impractical, so they became associated with both female irrationality and female desirability.”

Men didn’t abandon every kind of heel, though. Look at a classic brogue, and you’ll still find a small stacked heel, while cowboy and riding boots have more substantial ones. Plus, higher heels are still seen in men’s fashion, including in nightlife and contemporary designer collections.

When did heels become the women’s shoes we know, love and sometimes hate today?

According to Semmelhack, “the biggest innovation in heels came when steel started to be used to make extremely thin stilettos in the early 1950s.” And designers ran with it. One of the biggest names was French shoe designer Roger Vivier, often called the “father of the stiletto.” While designing shoes for Christian Dior in the 1950s, Vivier became known for treating the heel almost like a piece of architecture, experimenting with new shapes and silhouettes rather than simply changing its height.

Among the designs most closely associated with him was the Aiguille heel. Aiguille means “needle” in French, and the name tells you pretty much everything you need to know. It was incredibly slender and sharply tapered, creating the kind of delicate, needle-thin silhouette that helped define the modern stiletto. Vivier would go on to experiment with other distinctive shapes too, including curved and sculptural heels, helping turn the heel itself into part of the design rather than something simply holding up the back of a shoe.

Then Carrie Bradshaw took that obsession to another level. When Sex and the City debuted in 1998, Carrie’s designer heels became almost as memorable as her dating life. Manolo Blahniks weren’t just sitting quietly in her closet either. They made their way into storylines about money, relationships and even marriage, helping turn the designer heel into both a fashion statement and a pop-culture phenomenon. By the early 2000s, a pair of stilettos could be something to save up for, obsess over and plan an entire outfit around.

Are heels on their way out?

Heels aren’t disappearing, but they have a lot more competition these days. Comfort-first dressing got a major boost during the pandemic, when commutes and nights out suddenly disappeared for millions of people. Flats, sneakers and other easy-to-wear shoes had a moment, and they didn’t exactly vanish once everyone started going out again.

Still, don’t count heels out. “I have been asking myself this question a lot lately,” Semmelhack says. “Heels are central to Republican constructs of femininity at the moment, but they are also having a resurgence in high fashion, where the sculptural possibilities of heels are being played with. It is an interesting moment in the history of the high heel.”

So high heels probably aren’t headed for the history books. After centuries of changing shape and even who wears them, they may simply be changing again.

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on the history of high heels, Mariah Thomas tapped her experience covering history, fashion and more for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Elizabeth Semmelhack, director and senior curator at the Bata Shoe Museum in Toronto, Canada; email interview, Sept. 17, 2026
• Firenze Made in Tuscany: “The Whole Story of Catherine de Medici”
• Roger Vivier: “Roger Vivier, the Fabergé of Footwear”

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The post This Is the Surprising Reason Why High Heels Were Invented—And Who Wore Them First appeared first on Reader's Digest.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

As the first sign of the zodiac, you’re a natural starter, Aries. Ruled by energetic Mars, you’re at your best when there’s a challenge to conquer, a goal to chase or someplace new to go. Unfortunately, adult life involves an awful lot of maintenance. Paying bills, doing laundry and having the same meeting every Tuesday can make an Aries want to crawl out of their skin.

If you’re in a rut, don’t try to transform yourself into someone who loves routine. Instead, give yourself something new to conquer. At work, volunteer for a project that stretches your skills, pitch an idea or set a goal with a finish line you can actually see. If your relationship feels stale, plan a date that gets both of you off the couch. Take a boxing class, go hiking or make a reservation at that restaurant across town you’ve been dying to try.

You can even turn mundane chores into a competition with yourself. Set a timer for 30 minutes, put on some music and see how much you can knock out before the buzzer. And remember: Your ability to compete in the financial world should inspire you too.

The pitfall? You can mistake boredom for failure. Before quitting a job, abandoning a goal or deciding a relationship has run its course, ask yourself whether you really want out or simply need a fresh challenge within the life you already have.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Taurus is an earth sign ruled by Venus, the planet associated with beauty, pleasure and love, and you need a life that feels good in the real, tangible world. A beautiful home, delicious food, financial security and people you can count on aren’t frivolous extras for you—they’re what you need to feel grounded. So when life gets off track, start with your physical environment. Clean out the refrigerator, buy fresh sheets, cook yourself a real meal or finally deal with that pile of stuff you’ve been stepping around for three months. Don’t underestimate how much changing your surroundings can change your mood. And pay special attention to color palettes.

Money is another important piece of the Taurus puzzle. You crave security, so vague financial goals can create unnecessary anxiety. Pick something concrete: Pay off a credit card, save a specific amount or set aside money for a vacation you can already picture yourself taking. Automating your savings can help, because once a good Taurus habit takes root, it tends to stay there.

The same goes for relationships. You value loyalty, but that can sometimes keep you in situations long after their expiration date. Your famous stubborn streak is wonderful when you’re building something worthwhile; it’s less useful when you’re hanging on simply because change feels uncomfortable. Ask yourself: Does this still make my life better, or am I just used to it?

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Quick-thinking Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet associated with communication, and your mind needs stimulation. You’re curious, witty and full of ideas. But when every day starts looking exactly like the one before it, your energy can take a nosedive. Your reset word is variety. If work feels dull, ask to take on a different responsibility, work somewhere new for an afternoon or schedule lunch with a colleague who always gets your brain buzzing. If you’ve been thinking about taking a class, learning a language or starting a hobby, do it. Your curiosity isn’t a distraction from your adult life; it’s one of the things that keeps you engaged with it!

Your relationships need variety as well. Call the friend you haven’t talked to in six months. Plan a weekend road trip. Ask your partner a question you’ve never asked before. Gemini is the communicator of the zodiac, and talking things out often helps you figure out what you actually want.

But watch your tendency to scatter your energy: 12 exciting ideas can quickly become 12 unfinished projects. Choose one thing you want to change this month, and follow it through before chasing the next shiny object.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Home really is where the heart is for Cancer. You’re sensitive, intuitive and deeply connected to family and the people you consider family, so when your home life feels chaotic, everything else can feel off too. Begin your reset there. You don’t need a magazine-worthy makeover. Clear one room that’s become cluttered, create a comfortable place to eat dinner, or establish a little corner where you can read, think or drink your morning coffee without interruption. If you work remotely, make sure you have a dedicated workspace so your job doesn’t ooze into every inch of your sanctuary.

Cancer also has a tremendous instinct for nurturing others. That makes you the person others call when they’re upset, sick or simply need someone to listen. Yes, it’s lovely in many ways, but being everyone’s emotional emergency room can leave you depleted. Spend time working out, or head to a spa for a reset.

Try putting one appointment with yourself on your calendar every week and treating it as seriously as you would a commitment to someone you love. And if you’re worried about money, create a small emergency fund, even if you start with just a few dollars every week. Security gives Cancer room to breathe.

One word of warning: Don’t confuse caring with caretaking. Sometimes the most loving thing you can say is: “I can’t do that today.”

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Leo is ruled by the Sun, and you’re here to shine. That doesn’t mean every Leo wants to become famous, of course. It means you need opportunities to express yourself, create and feel that what you contribute actually matters.

If you’ve been going through the motions, ask yourself where you’ve become an understudy in your own life. At work, stop quietly doing excellent work and hoping somebody notices. Speak up in the meeting, apply for the promotion or show your boss what you’ve accomplished. In your personal life, revive something that makes you feel creative, whether that’s singing, decorating, dancing or hosting a fabulous dinner.

Relationships are important to warmhearted Leo, and appreciation matters too. But rather than stewing because somebody hasn’t noticed everything you do, tell them what you need. And make sure you’re giving that appreciation back.

The pitfall you need to watch out for? Looking outside yourself for applause. Likes, compliments and recognition feel wonderful, but they can’t be your only fuel source. Pick one goal that would make you proud, even if nobody else knew you accomplished it. That’s the kind of spotlight that never gets switched off. To keep that perspective top of mind, put an inspirational quote on your fridge to light you up every day.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Virgo is the gardener in my astrology system, and that image tells you a lot about how this practical earth sign operates. You’re brilliant at tending things, whether that means improving a project, organizing a household, helping a friend or figuring out why the dishwasher is making that weird noise. The trouble begins when everything starts looking like it needs improvement, including you.

If your life feels overwhelming, resist the urge to overhaul the whole thing. Pick three things that genuinely need your attention. Maybe it’s making a doctor’s appointment you’ve postponed, creating a workable monthly budget and clearing your desk so you can actually see it again. Then stop. You do not need a 47-item self-improvement plan.

At work, decide which tasks actually move a project forward instead of polishing every detail. At home, create simple routines that eliminate recurring annoyances. Put your keys in the same place. Schedule automatic bill payments. Make a basic meal plan. And in relationships, remember that the people you love aren’t projects. Sometimes they want your company, not your excellent suggestions.

Warning: Watch out for perfectionism masquerading as productivity. “Better” is often good enough. Let the garden grow.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Libra is the zodiac’s great relationship sign. Ruled by Venus, you have a natural ability to see another person’s point of view, create harmony and make people feel comfortable. Those are fantastic adulting skills, right up until you become so busy considering everyone else that you lose track of what you want. So your reset begins with a decision. Choose something you’ve been endlessly weighing, and give yourself a deadline. Which vacation should you take? Do you want the new job? Which sofa should you buy? Gather the information you need, sleep on it and decide. No additional committee meetings required.

This applies to relationships too. Before asking your partner, best friend, mother and group chat what they think, ask yourself first. Write down your answer if you need to. You might be surprised by how quickly it comes. At work, practice stating your opinion before hearing everyone else’s. With money, create a personal spending category that you control without anybody else’s input.

Your gift for compromise is precious, but compromise only works when you bring your own desires to the table. Otherwise, you aren’t meeting someone halfway; you’re simply walking over to their side.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Scorpio is the shaman in my astrology system, since this sign is associated with transformation, depth and rebirth. You have a remarkable ability to reinvent yourself, but first you have to be willing to let something die. Don’t panic—we’re talking metaphorically!

If you feel stuck in life, take inventory of what you’ve outgrown. Is there a friendship that exists mostly because you’ve known each other forever? A job that once challenged you but now drains you? A closet full of possessions belonging to a version of yourself you left behind years ago? Pick one area and purge. Delete the apps you never use. Donate the clothes. Cancel the subscription. Have the conversation you’ve been avoiding. Update the résumé. Money deserves the same fearless examination. Look at your accounts, debts and spending instead of avoiding whatever makes you uncomfortable. Scorpio does surprisingly well when the truth is out in the open because then you can do something about it.

Just don’t confuse transformation with destruction. You don’t have to burn down your whole life to change it. Sometimes removing one dead branch is enough to let new growth through. And for you, the most expansive growth will be in your romantic relationships.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

Sagittarius is the explorer of the zodiac. Ruled by Jupiter, you thrive on adventure, learning and the feeling that life contains possibilities you haven’t discovered yet. When you feel trapped, your first instinct may be to book a ticket somewhere far away. And if you can afford the trip, go! Travel can be genuinely restorative for Sagittarius.

But expansion doesn’t require an airport. Take a class in something you know nothing about. Visit a neighborhood you’ve never explored. Go to a museum alone. Invite someone with a completely different background to lunch. At work, look for opportunities to teach, travel, present or acquire a new skill. Your enthusiasm returns when your world gets bigger.

Money requires a little more discipline. Your optimism can persuade you that future-you will somehow take care of whatever present-you puts on the credit card. Create a separate travel or adventure fund, and use that money guilt-free. In relationships, make sure freedom goes both ways. You need room to roam, but so do the people you love.

Remember, though: The answer doesn’t always lie somewhere else. Before escaping your current life, see whether you can grow within it.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

Capricorn, you are built for adulting. You’re ambitious, practical and naturally aware that worthwhile things take time. Give you a mountain and you’ll start figuring out the route to the summit while everyone else is still discussing footwear. But capable Capricorn can end up carrying far too much.

If your life needs a reset, choose your most important mountain. Maybe you want to buy a home, change careers, get out of debt or finally finish a degree. Write down the goal, break it into smaller milestones and put actual dates beside them. You’re at your best when progress is measurable and when you work one step at a time, in a grounded way. Then look at everything else you’re doing and decide what can wait. Being responsible doesn’t mean volunteering to carry every responsibility in sight. This is especially important in families and relationships, where Capricorn can quietly become the CEO, CFO and facilities manager. Delegate. Ask for help. Let someone else make dinner badly.

Your pitfall is postponing happiness until you reach the next milestone. Schedule pleasure with the same seriousness you schedule work. There will always be another mountain.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Independent Aquarius is the zodiac’s innovator. You’re interested in what’s next, what’s possible and how things could work differently. So why are you still living according to a rule you stopped believing in five years ago? You are an air sign, and your inventive mind is your greatest gift. Look around for a “should.” You should have this kind of career. You should spend weekends this way. You should own a house by a certain age. You should have a particular kind of relationship. Then ask yourself who made that rule.

At work, experiment with technology or a new system that eliminates something tedious. If your schedule isn’t working, rearrange it. In your social life, seek out people who share your interests rather than maintaining friendships solely because you’ve known someone forever.

Aquarius is also associated with groups and community, so if you’ve become isolated, join something. Volunteer for a cause, find a local organization or seek out people who are fascinated by the same wonderfully obscure thing you are.

Just don’t rebel for the sake of rebellion. A conventional solution isn’t automatically a bad one. Keep the rules that work; toss the ones that don’t.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

Dreamy Pisces is imaginative, intuitive and creative. You can picture possibilities other people don’t see, which is an extraordinary gift. The adulting problem arrives when those possibilities remain beautiful little movies playing inside your head. Your reset is to make one dream concrete. Want to write a book? Set a weekly page goal. Dreaming of Paris? Open a vacation account and automatically deposit money into it every payday. Want a different career? Spend one hour this week researching what training you would actually need. Creativity becomes powerful when you give it a container.

Your environment matters too. Pisces absorbs atmosphere easily, so create spaces that help you feel calm and inspired. Music, water, art, meditation or simply taking a walk without your phone can help you clear out other people’s noise and hear your own thoughts again. And remember: Relationships require boundaries. Your empathy can make somebody else’s crisis feel like your responsibility. Before rushing in to rescue someone, ask whether they actually need your help and whether you genuinely have the energy to give it.

Your pitfall is waiting for inspiration, rescue or the perfect moment. Put one date on the calendar, and take one practical step. Dreams need feet.

Check out Jill Dearman’s new book, Super-Powered Astrology: Four Steps to a New You for a New Astrological Age, out now.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest provides an easy-to-understand guide to all things astrology—from understanding sun signs, moon signs and rising signs to exploring each zodiac sign’s strengths, challenges and desires. You’ll learn about your ideal match in love, career, hobbies and more, as well as learn how big astrological events will affect you. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including practicing astrologers, as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on how to adult based on your zodiac sign, Jill Dearman tapped her 20-plus years of experience as an astrologer. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

The post Here’s How to Adult the Right Way and Get Your Life on Track, According to Your Zodiac Sign appeared first on Reader's Digest.

The list ahead includes practical picks, sentimental treasures and a few items we didn’t see coming. Some will make perfect sense the second you read them. Others may have you thinking, Wait, that’s what you can’t live without?! And they will definitely all prompt you to consider of your own must-haves.

Read on to discover the nostalgic and wonderfully relatable things our readers can’t live without, along with the heartwarming stories that make them so special.

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All you need

My needle and thread. They’re two things, but one doesn’t work without the other. My hands are always busy creating: in my sewing room, in the car, on vacation, in waiting rooms. But the most special times with my needle and thread were in the evenings when my late husband and I would sit in our chairs and watch TV while I sewed. He was always the biggest fan of whatever I was working on. After he died, it took a while before I could pick up my needle and thread. I’m creating again, but tears come easy when I look at his chair, and I still hold up what I’m working on and turn to his chair to “show him.” —Steven Cook, Eagle River, Alaska 

Pencil pusher

As long as there are ideas and mistakes and I have the ability to change my mind, I need pencils with good erasers. I keep them in my workroom, my car and my crossword book, and by my bed. I use them to keep my changing calendar of dinner dates and my grandson’s baseball games, make to-do lists, jot down promises. A pencil allows me to be an imaginative, but fallible, human being. —Mirjam Spaar, Severna Park, Maryland 

Joe on the go

Many people say they can’t live without coffee, but I take it to the extreme. I carry a coffee maker with me wherever I travel. When I worked as a flight attendant, I spent many nights in hotels and couldn’t risk going without that morning cup. My fix—no pun intended—came from the smallest coffee­ maker that I could pack into my crew bag. It was a single-brew machine that worked magic every morning. —Amber Jensen-Veney, Blairsville, Georgia 

Drawing the line

I’ve worn heavy black eyeliner ever since I was a teenager. I was enthralled by characters on shows like Bewitched, Star Trek and I Dream of Jeannie. My kids always told me to tone it down. I’d tell them I must have lived in Egypt in a past life. Once, I visited my daughter while wearing just a hint of eyeliner, sans my signature black wings. She didn’t even notice! Needless to say, I went right back to my winged eyeliner and haven’t looked back. —Linda Vassallo, Gorham, Maine 

The unforgettable moments

I couldn’t live without my memories. Glimpses of long-ago days in a totally different world from today—a simpler time with loved ones, friends and pets who are now long gone. Hopes, dreams, disappointments, childhood adventures. All that learning, living, loving. They’re all memories now, and I’m grateful to have them, even the bad ones. —Jan Wolf, Fort Pierce, Florida 

The missing piece

Before COVID-19, I hadn’t put together a jigsaw puzzle in years. But since, I’ve completed 169 of them, usually while watching TV, listening to audiobooks or participating in conference calls with the video off. I feel naked if there is not a puzzle in progress, or a new box on the table. —Pat Fridgen, Greencastle, Pennsylvania  

I hear that

More than 45 years ago, I told my (not-quite-yet) wife that I needed to bring two things into the marriage: my dog and my stereo. Those were deal-breakers. Bullet wasn’t a problem, since everyone loved him. My stereo, however, included two speakers the size of mini-fridges. Being so large, they can’t go just anywhere, but they did go everywhere I went. Today, our beloved Bullet is gone, but my wife and my speakers are both still in excellent condition and a consistent source of enjoyment … and I love them BOTH. —Ron Enners, Bolivia, North Carolina 

Michelin possible

On my fridge, you’ll find a weekly menu. (E.g., “Monday: Vegetable soup. Tuesday: Fish and rice.”) I started it to keep me on top of meal prep and scheduling when my kids began extracurriculars and I was working part time. I still write up a new one every Sunday, even though our kids have moved out. —Becky Bores, Monroeville, Ohio 

Picture perfect

As a photographer, I feel lost without a camera nearby, whether it’s a professional DSLR, a small point-and-shoot or even a phone camera. Photography is so much a part of me that on my wedding day, I slipped a small camera into my suit pocket, and at the end of the ceremony, I took a selfie of us and all our guests. The guests all knew about my passion, and uproarious laughter erupted when I pulled the camera out. The image I took remains one of my favorite photos of the wedding. —Michael Leonard, Yarmouth, Maine 

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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The post Our Readers Share the Things They Can’t Live Without—And They’re Totally Relatable appeared first on Reader's Digest.

This year, we found a very special place to commemorate our 10th Year Special: Liverpool, New York! This tiny village near Syracuse has a heart the size of a city, and its people truly inspire us.

Read on for more about Liverpool—along with the rest of 2026’s finalists—and see how we spent 24 hours in the Nicest Place in America.

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Meet Our 2026 Winner

A Tiny Village in New York Spread Charity Far and Wide—And Became 2026’s Nicest Place in America

This year’s top honor goes to … Liverpool, New York! Find out how a mission to help strangers thousands of miles away has grown into a community where lending a hand is simply a way of life.

Click here to read all about it.

Spend a Little Time in 2026’s Nicest Place in America

What can you learn about a place in a single day? When it’s a tiny town packed with amazing people, a whole lot. Visit Liverpool with us below!

Check Out the 2026 Finalists

• The Book Thing in Baltimore, Maryland
• Heretic Coffee Co. in Portland, Oregon
• Swanville, Minnesota
• Charleston, Arkansas

Meet Our Judges

Meet Our Past Winners

See where all 154 of our Nicest Places land on this map, and read the stories below to find out more about the ones that took home the top honor.

2025 Winner: Asheville, North Carolina

2024 Winner: Provo, Utah

2023 Winner: Buffalo, New York

2022 Winner: Coulterville, California

2021 Winner: The Quality Inn in Kodak, Tennessee

2020 Winner: Buchanan, Michigan

2019 Winner: Columbiana, Ohio

2018 Winner: Yassir Falafel House in Knoxville, Tennessee

2017 Winner: Gallatin, Tennessee

Add a Dose of Niceness to Your World

11 Ways to Turn Your Community into One of the Nicest Places in America

Building a strong community depends on you, and we can help. Click here for some tangible—and surprisingly easy!—tips on how to make your hometown a place you can truly call home.

Time to Plan Your Nicest Vacation Yet! Here’s Your Guide to All of Reader’s Digest’s Nicest Places in America Winners

Ten years of our Nicest Places franchise means 10 amazing places to visit! Check out where to stay and what to do while you’re there.

Find Your People

• Why Community Is So Important—And How to Find Yours
• When the World Is a Mess, Your Community Can Save Your Sanity—Here’s How
• How to Make Friends as an Adult—And Keep Them
• They Found Belonging Through Chosen Family—And You Can Too
• How to Get More Out of Your Daily Interactions to Feel Happier and More Connected
• Here’s How to Build Empathy and Form Deeper Connections

Nominate Your Nicest Place!

Why trust us

For more than 100 years, Reader’s Digest has been known for its heartwarming true stories and focus on community. In 2017, we launched the Nicest Places in America, an annual contest that honors kind, inspiring people making a difference in their hometowns. Readers send in nominations, and Reader’s Digest’s editorial team vets the entries and whittles them down with the help of a panel of judges. This year, the judges included Today co-anchor Craig Melvin, Tuesdays with Morrie author Mitch Albom, author and podcast host Mónica Guzmán, StoryCorps CEO Sandra Clark, and Molly Irani, the co-founder of Chai Pani Restaurant Group in Asheville, North Carolina, which was 2025’s Nicest Place in America. We are committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

The post And the Winner of 2026’s “Nicest Places in America” Search Is … appeared first on Reader's Digest.

When we arrived, the parking lot was empty. Not “offseason quiet” empty— more like “the last guests left under mysterious circumstances and nobody came after them” empty. The lobby carpet was torn up in patches. The hallways were dim and echoey. And the indoor water park, advertised with glistening slides and splashing families, consisted of exactly one broken slide standing in an otherwise empty pool. My kids’ faces broke my heart. The concierge was pleasant enough. She advised us to just wander the halls and pick whatever room looked good to us. So we chose the least creepy option, pushed the bureau in front of the door before bed, and left first thing in the morning.

That day, I wrote the only one-star review I have ever left in my life. It was two pages long and included photos. I went with equal parts scathing and cautionary. A few months later, I went back to see if the hotel had responded. Instead, I found that it had permanently closed. Part of me wonders whether my review was the final nail in the coffin.

But was leaving it actually the right thing to do? I’ve been thinking about it ever since, because the etiquette of negative reviews is genuinely murky, and the stakes can be higher than most of us realize.

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The case for leaving a one-star review

The most obvious argument for a negative review is that you were asked and the service was truly terrible. Every time you visit a business, Google, Yelp, Amazon and everyone else wants to know how it went. We’ve built an entire consumer infrastructure around the premise that honest feedback is valuable.

So staying silent when you have had a genuinely terrible experience seems, if anything, like failing your civic duty. There weren’t any reviews of the hotel when I booked our trip (which should have been my first red flag), and they would have been so useful. The data backs this up: 94% of consumers say a negative review has convinced them to avoid a business.

Reviews are how strangers protect one another. When a hotel advertises a water park and delivers one sad slide in a drained pool, that’s not a minor inconvenience—it’s actually a misrepresentation. Plus, honest negative reviews can benefit businesses. A consistent pattern of one-star complaints about cold food is information that the management can act on. Silence isn’t kindness; it’s useless.

The case against it

OK, but … a single one-star review can also do lasting, disproportionate ­damage to a small business. Especially if it’s exaggerated (as can happen when you write in the heat of the moment). A landmark Harvard Business School study found that a one-star drop on Yelp translates to a 5% to 9% revenue loss. And industry estimates suggest it takes roughly 40 positive customer experiences to claw back the reputational damage of just one negative review. For a small business operating on thin margins, that revenue loss could represent payroll, rent and the owner’s ability to keep the lights on.

Also, many of the issues stem from circumstances that no individual employee created. One terrible visit, driven by a broken system or an understaffed night, may not represent the whole story. Leaving a permanent, public indictment based on a single bad day can feel less like accountability and more like collateral damage.

When it stops being feedback

It’s also worth noting that online review culture has developed a genuinely ugly side that has nothing to do with honest consumer feedback and everything to do with online bullying.

In 2025, a James Beard–nominated San Francisco chef found his restaurant review-bombed into closure after a dispute with a TikToker went viral. Hundreds of thousands of people who had never set foot in his restaurant, never tasted his food, never interacted with a single member of his staff flooded his Google page with one-star reviews because an influencer told them to. His employees were laid off, he lost his livelihood and his restaurant closed. And that’s just one example of many.

This is not etiquette; this is bullying. And it is one of the worst things happening in online culture right now. A review is supposed to be your honest account of your own experience. The moment you leave a one-star review for a business you’ve never visited, you’re not holding anyone accountable. You are, however, weaponizing hate. A review platform is not a pitchfork, and treating it like one doesn’t make you an activist—it makes you incredibly rude.

The verdict

Here’s what I’ve settled on: A one-star review is appropriate when the problem was systemic, significant and likely to happen to the next person. Not because your server was having a hard shift. Not because your food arrived slightly cold during a Saturday-night rush. When there is genuine misrepresentation involved or consistent, recurring failures, you are not being rude. And I will say that given this rubric, I’ve never left another one-star review.

If you’re going to leave a one-star review, there are a few practical rules. Be specific, not mean. Describe what happened rather than what you think of the person who served you. Don’t write it in the heat of your emotions. And before you post anything, consider calling the business directly. A surprising number of problems get resolved this way, and a business willing to make it right deserves the opportunity. If they don’t respond, you will feel considerably better about that one star. Leaving a one-star review is not inherently rude—but the bar should be meaningfully higher than “I was mildly inconvenienced on a Tuesday.”

My two-page review of the haunted water park hotel, with its empty pool and bureau-against-the-door energy? One hundred percent warranted. I regret nothing. If I saved even one family from driving three hours to stand in a dark lobby choosing a room like contestants on Squid Game, that was a public service.

Have a social situation you can’t stop ruminating on? Email us at advice@tmbi.com, or message Charlotte on Instagram at @CharlotteHiltonAndersen.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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“It’s a vibe, I would say, of quiet excitement,” says Rahul Jakati, a writing instructor who signed up to volunteer after his first visit and has since dedicated more than 300 hours of service. “The Book Thing is one of the hearts of Baltimore because books are literally just coming in, circulating into this warehouse organ and then being pumped back out, reoxygenating the literary landscape of Baltimore,” he says. “That’s its own kind of circulation, a circulation of goodwill.”

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A beloved Baltimore tradition

The Book Thing of Baltimore began in 1995 when bartender Russell Wattenberg started giving away books after hearing from local teachers who came to his bar and shared that they needed books for their students. What began as a small act of generosity gradually grew into one of Baltimore’s most beloved institutions, typically held on the second weekend of the month.

In 2017, after a fire, the community came together to salvage the inventory that could be saved. The nearby Peabody Heights Brewery even put up shelves to house the titles that could be given out. Today, visitors line up for timed entry slots and receive nearly an hour to browse. Donations arrive by the thousands, according to board president Christopher Mergen. “We may get anywhere from 12,000 to 17,000 books a month as donations, and to process all of those is a really remarkable feat of engineering,” he says.

Volunteers unload boxes from trunks and pickup trucks, sort them, stamp them with the message “not for resale” and shelve them in categories. There are books on etiquette, “oddball” books, a section of large-print books and another of “teeny-tiny” books. One woman gave her whole set of Sweet Valley High books: “That’s a part of my teenage life,” she told a volunteer.

“It’s a place that just exists in spite of all the reasons that it shouldn’t exist,” says Mergen. “Baltimore has a reputation for being a bit quirky. It’s a scrappy sort of do-it-yourself type of place.”

Giving stories a second chapter

The Book Thing is in Waverly, a neighborhood that captures much of that offbeat, plucky spirit. On Saturdays, visitors drift between the nearby farmers market, brick row houses, coffee shops and independent businesses. The surrounding area has long been a place where literature matters. The Edgar Allan Poe House & Museum, a national historic landmark, is just a few miles away. Journalist and essayist H.L. Mencken chronicled his life in Baltimore, and F. Scott Fitzgerald lived there for several years in the 1930s.

On one giveaway day, volunteers stationed at the entrance greeted arriving patrons by clapping and dancing as they walked through the door. A visually impaired woman arrived with a friend, planning to wait outside while her companion browsed. Volunteers saw her, searched the media section and were delighted to discover an audiobook on CD that she had been interested in.

Another visitor arrived on a donation day with books from her late mother’s estate. As volunteers counted the donations, she asked if they would truly reach people who wanted them. Then, with tears in her eyes, she explained how much it meant to know that her mother’s library would find a new home.

“The Book Thing doesn’t discriminate. It sees value in all books and all people. Sometimes you go just for fun; sometimes you look for something specific; sometimes you go to meet other people who love books as much as you do,” says Baltimore native Violet LeVoit, who nominated it. “In a world where everything is monetized and every little scrap of human existence has a dollar sign attached to it, this is a place where the books are free, but the people are free too.”

A sanctuary for book lovers and storytellers

For Devina Bhalla, a local English teacher, the greatest experience she had at The Book Thing wasn’t simply finding a great read. When she first moved to the area and barely knew anyone, a fellow teacher told her it was the “most special thing about Baltimore.” And so the literary hub became one of the first places where she felt ­connected—not only to reading, but to Baltimore itself.

She introduced her boyfriend, Colin Kennedy, to the place, and the two often went together. Last year, on one of their visits, he got down on one knee and proposed right there in front of the shelves. Nobody who knew the couple was surprised. “One of my most favorite things was how many people in my life were like, ‘Oh, it’s just so right that Colin proposed there,’ ” she says.

Stories like that are why people talk about The Book Thing not merely as a book warehouse or a free store. They talk about friendship, belonging and generosity. Bhalla puts it this way: “If there was somebody in the world that was dis­illusioned with humanity, this would be the place you could take them to be like, ‘Humans can do some beautiful things too.’ ”

Why trust us

For more than 100 years, Reader’s Digest has been known for its heartwarming true stories and focus on community. In 2017, we launched the Nicest Places in America, an annual contest that honors kind, inspiring people making a difference in their hometowns. Readers send in nominations, and Reader’s Digest’s editorial team vets the entries and whittles them down with the help of a panel of judges. This year, the judges included Today co-anchor Craig Melvin, Tuesdays with Morrie author Mitch Albom, author and podcast host Mónica Guzmán, StoryCorps CEO Sandra Clark, and Molly Irani, the co-founder of Chai Pani Restaurant Group in Asheville, North Carolina, which was 2025’s Nicest Place in America. We are committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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Inside, the cafe was already at full speed. Espresso machines hissing over overlapping voices. Hastily wrapped burritos handed over the counter. People young and old, some sporting tattoos and mohawks, others in their Sunday best, all packed inside to accept the helping hand that had been extended.

“There was never even a line before, and all of a sudden I was spending an entire day looking at a line,” says Peitrok.

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How it all began

Heretic founder Josh White remembers the day last October when he read the announcement that SNAP, the federal program that helps low-income households buy groceries, would be cut off starting Nov. 1 during a government shutdown, leaving millions unsure how they would make ends meet. “I was like, ‘Well, that’s not right,’ ” says White. “We sell breakfast burritos, and people will be going hungry, so why not just give those away for free until SNAP is reinstated?”

He posted a message on the cafe’s social media inviting anyone affected by the SNAP cuts to come in for a free burrito and coffee. In just hours, the message spread far beyond Heretic’s usual audience, and donations topping $10,000 poured in. Two days later, on Oct. 27, a boy about 10 years old came in and asked if he could get a free SNAP breakfast early.

Horrified, White decided to open the program immediately. He posted again, saying: “No child should EVER have to ask for food. Portland, come eat. Do not go hungry.” The shop opened its doors and brought on that busy day when Peitrok and other volunteer baristas slung coffees and burritos to more than 100 people.

Brewing bright futures

But Heretic’s generosity far predates the SNAP breakfast program. Founded in 2023, the cafe is a nonprofit organization focused on workforce development. “The number-one thing we do is help people get jobs,” says White. Heretic’s surplus earnings go back into the coffee shop, which functions as an on-the-floor training experience for people interested in barista work, he says. A manager, the only salaried employee besides White, oversees operations, while volunteers rotate shifts to gain barista experience to land paying gigs elsewhere.

It’s volunteer baristas like Peitrok who help make Heretic magical. “The lack of the social pick-me-up that I always receive from baristas each morning would make the days feel a little less joyful,” says a 36-year-old regular nicknamed T, who has been visiting since free breakfast began.

He often sits on the patio—even on rainy Portland days—with a bacon breakfast burrito and a vanilla latte, watching the cafe move around him. What might seem like a transactional exchange, he says, instead feels grounded in gratitude.

A community for every story

Working in the same space week after week, volunteer barista Susan Retondo has watched the cafe develop its own rhythm—regulars greet each other, and conversations spark between strangers during a morning rush. “It’s a mix of people here for the breakfast program and paying customers,” says Retondo. “They overlap seamlessly.”

Scenes in the cafe shift by the hour. Dogs snooze under tables. Customers stay for hours—reading, completing job applications, doing Zoom interviews, just catching up. Some are unhoused; others live in nearby affordable housing or are stretching limited incomes. “There have been several times a guest has ordered the SNAP breakfast on the verge of tears,” says Retondo. “People carrying shame over needing help, or who are almost in disbelief that we’re offering what we are in the way that we are, stay with me.”

SNAP was reinstated in Oregon on Nov. 7, but Heretic’s free breakfast lives on. More than 12,000 donors have raised about $400,000, which White has partially redirected to mutual aid organizations, including Equitable Giving Circle, Black Futures Farm and the Feed’em Freedom Foundation. At its peak, Heretic served 100 to 150 free breakfasts per day. Numbers decreased with time, but to White, that was always the point.

“The win is actually feeding fewer people, because the people we were feeding were able to get jobs, and now they can feed themselves,” he says. “We’re just here to be a bridge.”

Why trust us

For more than 100 years, Reader’s Digest has been known for its heartwarming true stories and focus on community. In 2017, we launched the Nicest Places in America, an annual contest that honors kind, inspiring people making a difference in their hometowns. Readers send in nominations, and Reader’s Digest’s editorial team vets the entries and whittles them down with the help of a panel of judges. This year, the judges included Today’s Al Roker, Tuesdays with Morrie author Mitch Albom, author and podcast host Mónica Guzmán, StoryCorps CEO Sandra Clark, Today co-anchor Craig Melvin, and Molly Irani, the co-founder of Chai Pani Restaurant Group in Asheville, North Carolina, which was 2025’s Nicest Place in America. We are committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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“Parker is a fantastic human being,” says real estate agent and longtime resident Lacy Flanagan. “The majority of people here know him and love him for his efforts to clean up the town.” Meador started this work on an impulse one day last August while out walking with his daughter Gabrielle. He noticed a bit of trash lying around, so they filled a plastic bag with wrappers, cans and other debris.

It made him feel good, so he went out the next day and did the same thing, and soon it became a routine. Now, he logs about two hours every day, seven days a week. A year in, having dodged snakes, fire ants, traffic and wasps, he has collected around 900 bags of trash from all over—schools, parks, sports fields, streams, creeks. People honk and wave. Some stop to thank him. Some give him hugs.

“It’s never a job,” he says. “I enjoy it tremendously. It’s a great way to serve God and our community and be useful.” Feeling useful has been a lifelong struggle for Meador, who has several mental health disorders. “My life is incredibly difficult,” he says. “Just to stay alive is a daily effort. I have a very difficult time working in front of people, so I serve my family and community in other ways.”

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A legacy of change

Charleston is the perfect setting for Meador’s effort. Located just 30 minutes from the Oklahoma border, it’s literally a one-stoplight town, and its Main Street is dotted with mom-and-pop shops and a simple brick courthouse. “Even though we’re just a small town, we’re very open-minded,” says Beverly Dotson, who nominated Charleston.

The city might be tiny and obscure, but it has an impressive claim to fame. Its school district was the first in the post-Confederacy South to desegregate all 12 grades after Brown v. Board of Education was decided in 1954. That same year, three years before nine brave students faced down the National Guard just two hours away in Little Rock, Charleston quietly shuttered its small school for Black students and welcomed the 11 pupils to its main institution—without resistance, press or fanfare.

“The leaders at the time were extraordinary people who had a vision and the wisdom to make it happen,” says Missy Moore, the current school superintendent. “The descendants of the people who made that decision are still part of this community and still want the same thing. We want to do right by everyone.” It was 72 years ago that the people of Charleston pulled off that groundbreaking feat. This year, they managed to pull off another one.

The power of coming together

It began in late 2024, when the state of Arkansas abruptly announced that it had purchased 815 acres just outside Charleston to build a 3,000-bed prison. Most people in Charleston were furious: There aren’t even 3,000 people living in the city, and this plan would massively strain resources and change the city forever. Worse, nobody even bothered to consult them.

A grassroots coalition of farmers, blue-collar workers, digital nomads, educators and members of the Chickamauga Nation—called Gravel & Grit— sprang up. They quickly educated themselves about the details of the ­proposed project and learned that although the governor’s office had purchased the land, construction funding still depended on the legislature. Through intensive lobbying, they ­convinced lawmakers that the site’s shortcomings would cause enormous ­overruns: The soil was too rocky, the water table too low, the roads insufficient, the labor supply inadequate. The project was shelved in April. “It was really neat to see it all come together,” says Flanagan, who is also a clan mother with the Chickamauga Nation.

The tiny city had prevailed once again, a David against a mighty Goliath, all thanks to that pervasive community spirit that shows up even in small ways, like Meador’s. He’s spinning his trash-removal efforts into a movement he calls Charleston Positive, complete with yard signs, fliers, a Facebook page and T-shirts, to celebrate positive things going on in the city, raise awareness about mental health and encourage community service.

“We can have such a huge impact on others,” he says, “in negative or positive ways. It’s our choice.”

Why trust us

For more than 100 years, Reader’s Digest has been known for its heartwarming true stories and focus on community. In 2017, we launched the Nicest Places in America, an annual contest that honors kind, inspiring people making a difference in their hometowns. Readers send in nominations, and Reader’s Digest’s editorial team vets the entries and whittles them down with the help of a panel of judges. This year, the judges included Today co-anchor Craig Melvin, Tuesdays with Morrie author Mitch Albom, author and podcast host Mónica Guzmán, StoryCorps CEO Sandra Clark, and Molly Irani, the co-founder of Chai Pani Restaurant Group in Asheville, North Carolina, which was 2025’s Nicest Place in America. We are committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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“I expected maybe $4,000,” he says. But the actual amount Kircher received was much more than he guessed: $6,000. “This community really comes together,” he says. “They’re trying to make sure that everyone has a chance. We’re kind of spoiled, honestly. In a bigger place, they wouldn’t be able to do it for everybody.”

For graduates of Swanville High School, there’s never any suspense about who’ll get a scholarship: If you apply, you’ll get one. And in this tiny town deep in Minnesota farm country, where the class of 2026 numbered just 22 students, almost every senior applies.

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The small town with a big heart

Known as Dollars for Scholars, what started as a modest effort to help local students has evolved into a deep-rooted institution that now gives away about $100,000 in scholarships a year. Recipients can use the money for almost anything: college, trade school or continuing life skills for special education students. The program is backed by a year-round fundraising effort that includes bingo games, poinsettia sales, and weekly “meat raffles,” where locals buy chances to fill their freezers.

“Spin the wheel, and if it lands on your number, you win some meat,” says Dollars for Scholars president Teresa Giese, who nominated Swanville. “It’s a social thing. People love it. When my friends and I lose, we say, ‘It’s for the kids.’ ”

So how small is Swanville? The 2020 census counted just 326 people. Founded in 1883 as a timber town, Swanville today is a farming community best known for soybeans and the production of turkeys.

Drive through and you’ll see a cluster of homes, small businesses, grain elevators and steel storage sheds. You’ll see a bar called Lucky’s Saloon and a restaurant called Patriots Cafe that serves breakfast and lunch. You’ll see a school, a church and a little dirt road that leads to a little town dock on a little lake. Then you’ll be back in the soybean fields, on your way to the next little town.

“People say, ‘Oh, I’m from a small town; we know everybody’s name.’ I say, ‘We’re so small, we know everybody’s middle name,’ ” says Chris Kircher, Brody’s father, who chairs Swanville’s school board and owns a sporting goods store. But “small” doesn’t mean struggling. Last year, Dollars for Scholars surpassed $1 million in money awarded. Nobody imagined that kind of sustained success when a few locals launched the program in 1987, hoping to keep enrollment up and prevent the school from losing students to larger neighboring school districts.

“I was one of the first people to get a scholarship. I got it in 1991. I got $103,” says Chris. “I went to the bank, and they gave me a $100 bill and three ones.” These days, most students get at least a few thousand, and this year’s top recipient got $7,000.

Launching the next generation of dreamers

The financial base is an interest-generating endowment established years ago with a $100,000 donation from the local Lions Club and buttressed by annual fundraising. The program allows local donors to create personalized scholarships, often in memory of friends and family. Those contributions are matched by the main fund, so $250 from a donor becomes $500 for a student.

“People here aren’t rich. We don’t have a lot of money. But when we need it, we find it,” says the elder Kircher.

“There were times when we were concerned that we were going to lose our school. Now we’re adding classrooms,” says Stephenie Och, whose mother helped found Dollars for Scholars.

Her son Ethan Och graduated in 2016 and won $3,000 in scholarships. That helped him stay on track in his critical first year at the University of Minnesota, providing ready cash for pesky expenses like dorm fees and books. It wasn’t the first time that Swanville stepped up for him. Spinal muscular atrophy, a rare genetic condition, had put him in a wheelchair when he was a toddler. The Lions Club helped make his home wheelchair accessible. After he started school, the community passed a referendum to upgrade the building, adding ramps and other modifications.

“They needed to modernize—it was such an old building,” says Ethan. “So they saw my situation as an opportunity, not just for me but for other students too.” Ethan got a degree in aerospace engineering and mechanics, and today is a software engineer working for one of the nation’s leading defense contractors: “My dream job,” he says. He’s also funding scholarships of his own, including one that went to Brody Kircher.

And as for Brody, he’s off at the University of Minnesota’s Morris campus, playing wide receiver. He can easily see himself coming back to Swanville someday, he says, and would recommend the town to anyone. “I liked not being a stranger to anybody,” he says. “It’s easy to get to know people. They have faith in you. They have faith in everyone.”

Why trust us

For more than 100 years, Reader’s Digest has been known for its heartwarming true stories and focus on community. In 2017, we launched the Nicest Places in America, an annual contest that honors kind, inspiring people making a difference in their hometowns. Readers send in nominations, and Reader’s Digest’s editorial team vets the entries and whittles them down with the help of a panel of judges. This year, the judges included Today co-anchor Craig Melvin, Tuesdays with Morrie author Mitch Albom, author and podcast host Mónica Guzmán, StoryCorps CEO Sandra Clark, and Molly Irani, the co-founder of Chai Pani Restaurant Group in Asheville, North Carolina, which was 2025’s Nicest Place in America. We are committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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To get the best out of a crawfish, you need to work for it: You have to twist and pull to separate the tail from the head, push the meat from the tail with your thumb, then go back and suck the flavor from the head. But getting the best out of Liverpool, New York, isn’t nearly the same squeeze.

The village, only a square mile in size and 2,600 strong in population, fits right in neighboring Syracuse’s pocket. Despite its small scale, both charity and volunteerism pour from Liverpool at a disproportionate rate, making it a lily pad and vital leaping-off point for the entire region. The westerly side of town is almost entirely modest homes on shady, tree-lined streets; the easterly side is Onondaga Lake Park and small businesses with punny names (e.g., a yarn store called Knitty Gritty, a hair salon called Dead Ends).

The neon filament that lights the sky at Heid’s of Liverpool, a legendary hot dog restaurant that draws crowds from miles around, serves as Liverpool’s informal welcome sign. American High, an indie film studio, moved into the old A.V. Zogg Middle School in 2017, borrowing the classrooms and Liverpool’s all-American good looks for the teen movies it produces.

“Many of the suburbs of Syracuse are just that—a sprawl of homes,” says Rick Pelotte, project manager for Operation Northern Comfort, an area nonprofit born in Liverpool. “But Liverpool has a stronger identity.” One of the biggest parties of the year for the village is an annual crawfish festival, when Liverpool’s Operation Northern Comfort borrows Syracuse’s bustling Clinton Square to host more than 6,000 attendees from all over central New York.

But that idyllic small-town vibe is only part of what makes Liverpool an amazing place. It also has a rich history of service that stretches back more than two decades, and its residents show up for one another in tangible, heartwarming ways. Read on to find out what makes this tiny town tick and why it earned the title of Reader’s Digest’s Nicest Place in America for 2026.

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Inside Operation Northern Comfort

It wasn’t always called Operation Northern Comfort. When it was founded in 2005 by the late Norm “Mr. Liverpool” Andrzejewski, it was Operation Southern Comfort, an organization that sent central New Yorkers to Louisiana by the busload to help rebuild after Hurricane Katrina. Cisco Gonzales Jr. was 11 when Operation Southern Comfort helped rebuild his church in Louisiana and raise a family member’s house after the storm. He remembers the volunteers bringing supplies, extra hands, meals, and even donated tubas, trumpets and snare drums for local school bands. But more importantly, “they just brought hope,” he says.

For six years, the organization made routine trips to Louisiana, equipping a class of thousands of volunteers with new building and construction knowledge. It rebranded in 2012 as Operation Northern Comfort, ready to put its volunteers’ new skills to work at home, but not without taking a bit of Louisiana with it in the crawfish festival. Today, Operation Northern Comfort primarily builds ramps and lifts that give area residents with accessibility challenges the freedom to leave the house. (“People think there’s a government agency or something that you can call, but there isn’t,” says Laurel Flanagan, CEO of Operation Northern Comfort.) But if you can dream it, they can build it: bookshelves, desks, even DJ tables.

The festival, always the first Saturday in May (crawfish are no good any later), took place this year in unseasonably brisk weather, but the steam kept volunteer crawfish cooks warm as they stood over the boil. Blistering red mudbugs swirled around the pot with onions, garlic and lemon, plus a healthy serving of celery to soak up some of the Cajun spice that dyes the broth orange. Youth volunteers washed baskets of live crawfish—shrieking if one clung to their shirt—to replenish the stock.

More volunteers appeared with sport fishing nets slung over their shoulders to scoop cooked mudbugs from the boil and deliver them to a preparation station. Boxes of crawfish packed with corn and potatoes disappeared from the pickup table, toted around by merry attendees as they danced to live music and snapped photos with the crawfish mascot.

“I didn’t know it was a fundraiser for, like, a year,” says Flanagan, a festival attendee turned volunteer before she became CEO. Gonzales, now 32, flies up for the festival every year, often staying in the homes of old pals in Liverpool and showing attendees how to peel crawfish. “I always laugh, because if you ask my dad, he says, ‘You go there every year just to drink and have fun,’ ” says Gonzales, “and I’m like, ‘Yeah, that’s exactly what I do.’ ”

Every cent of the $40,000 raised by this year’s event will be poured directly back into the town and its neighbors. Festival revenue is the source of nearly all the money that Operation Northern Comfort raises each year, powering the 57 projects it completed in 2025. But Operation Northern Comfort is just one piston in Liverpool’s charitable engine.

“I nominated Liverpool because there are so many things that end up in our news of individuals who spend their time, their effort, to help other people,” says Liverpool resident Susan Edmonds, who herself volunteers at both the Humane Society and the airport military courtesy room. “If you think an individual doesn’t make a difference, boy that’s wrong.”

An individual difference

Ralph Rotella moved to Liverpool from Syracuse 31 years ago, after having arrived in the country in 1970. The village offers a bit of space between him and the city, and more room for a garden. Around the back of his house, you’ll find the tomatoes, cucumbers and zucchinis he tends with any free time he can eke out. On the doorstep, there’s a good chance you’ll find a garbage bag full of shoes.

Rotella is a cobbler, a trade that the Italian immigrant inherited from his uncle, along with his shop, Discount Shoe Repair in downtown Syracuse. Every year, the Liverpool resident gives away thousands of refurbished shoes to the Syracuse Rescue Mission so they can find the feet of someone who needs them.

Donations come in all forms (boots, sneakers, dress shoes, loafers), sometimes by the bag, sometimes a pair at a time. Occasionally, someone will buy and donate a new pair of shoes just to support the cobbler’s cause and save him the work of fixing heels, replacing laces or restoring soles. “The first year, I was so excited—we got 35 pairs. After the third year, a few hundred pairs. Now, every day, you see how many we got,” Rotella says, gesturing at the shoe-filled trash bags in his shop’s entryway. “That pile is only a week old. We almost got 500 pairs.”

Every day, at least a few people drop by the shop to add to the mountain of shoes—and some drop them off at Rotella’s doorstep in Liverpool. The Rescue Mission makes a pickup every three weeks so Discount Shoe Repair won’t get totally overrun. “I could never do it by myself,” says Rotella of the thousands of donors who make it possible. “Thanks to you guys and thanks to me, we do a good deed.”

Last December, when the Rescue Mission backed its truck up to Discount Shoe Repair’s doors for the final pickup of the year, the shoe drive made a new one-year record of more than 45,000 pairs. It’s always a celebration, complete with roasting chestnuts and jaunty Italian music, but this was a special milestone—300,000 pairs collected since Rotella started the drive in 2011.

“I reached my goal, but I’m still going to do it no matter what,” he says. “As long as my hands work and I can walk and dance, we’ll do it. I’ve been in Liverpool since 1995, and anyplace I go, in the grocery store or Home Depot, they say, ‘Ralph, I got some shoes for you. Can I bring them down?’ ”

“If the doors are open, you are welcome here”

The Rev. Bruce Gowe hasn’t lived in Liver­pool for nearly as long as Rotella, but it didn’t take long for the village to reveal itself to him. He moved to Liverpool about two years ago, when he started his ministry at St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church, a simple redbrick building on Liverpool’s outskirts near the highway that borders the village on the opposite side from Onondaga Lake.

Lots of the offerings in the region appeal to Gowe: hiking the Finger Lakes, the boisterous festival seasons, a community that cares for nature. He’s among the younger priests that staff the area’s 22 churches of varying denominations, and the first openly gay one at St. Matthew’s. The congregation, and Liverpool, embraced him with ease, an openness that he sees extending well beyond himself.

“There’s a sense of community and safety; you can thrive here,” says Gowe. “There’s that sense of being a large city, but there’s also the small-town America feel too.” Last August, Gowe noticed a woman using one of the church’s outdoor outlets to charge her phone in the parking lot. He’d seen her once before, pushing a shopping cart a bit up the road, and realized she must be homeless and had likely set up camp in the woods behind St. Matthew’s. Gowe didn’t mind—he said hello and told her that any time the church doors are open, she’s welcome to come inside.

“The Scripture says you never know when you’re hosting angels,” he says.

In time, a few members of the congregation built a rapport with the woman, until she eventually felt comfortable resting in the shade of the entryway and coming inside for a cup of coffee. St. Matthew’s supports local food pantries and also runs its own, and a care team began regularly preparing a special basket to help her get through the week. There’s a shower in the church building—they asked if she would like to come in and use it? One churchgoer offered to take the occasional load of laundry home for her, until another found a donated washer and dryer to install at the church. By fall, she was donning a Halloween mask for the trunk-or-treat event.

Gowe decided to contact In My Father’s Kitchen, a nonprofit in Syracuse offering direct street outreach to people experiencing homelessness, after hearing about it from another parish. Upon meeting the woman, co-founder John Tumino realized he’d met her before and had been trying to get her into housing for months before she disappeared to Liverpool. Today, she’s in an apartment in ­Syracuse thanks to Tumino—and the relationships she built in Liverpool. “Being part of the community ­allowed her to make those steps forward of ‘Maybe I do need help, and maybe there are folks who are safe enough for me to take that step,’ ” says Gowe. “I don’t think this would happen at other places—certainly at other places in Liverpool, but not necessarily other places in the country.”

What makes a village

“In a time where everyone is looking straight ahead and just taking care of themselves, it’s nice to know that if I get in trouble, I can knock next door and there’s someone there that’ll open the door and smile,” says Liverpool resident Simone McCarthy. “And that’s what Liverpool is.” Or, as 31-year-old Kenyan immigrant Raiss Muya puts it, “What makes Liverpool, Liverpool, is the people.”

Muya is the “someone next door” McCarthy was referring to—he has been her neighbor since he was 17. His kids call her Grandma, just as he used to, and spend hot summer days swimming in her above-ground pool. His parents have since gone back to Kenya and his siblings have moved out of state, but he took over the family home, unable to imagine life away from the village that welcomed him.

“Once we got here, everyone around just helped us out. We told ourselves, ‘This is the place to be,’ ” recalls Muya. “They had their hands open for us.”

So when a blizzard demolished the fence between his and McCarthy’s properties a few winters back, leaving her recessed driveway exposed to snow that would drift in and be impossible to clear, she barely had to ask before Muya opened his own hand.

He dug up the old fence, which was buried beneath mounds of snow and ice, and tethered the panels to the posts with wire as a temporary fix until spring. A few months later, McCar­thy’s landlord ponied up for the supplies, and Muya, a handyman, built a 6-foot cedar fence to block the following years’ snowfall. He worked in the evenings, after long days of fixing up other people’s homes, with the help of his young daughters, who did more wrestling with the shovel than digging post holes but held the level and fetched water for him.

“She helped us with everything. There’s no reason why I should say no or even think about it, you know?” says Muya. McCarthy often stops over with cookies and extra meals for the Muyas when she cooks too much. (“The best place to store food is in your neighbor’s stomach,” she’ll tell you.) To this day, she brings home groceries, dry goods and halal chicken, from the CNY Blessing Box, a food pantry in Syracuse where she volunteers. Not because they asked, but because, she says, “It’s the right thing to do.”

“If you have new neighbors in your town, go see what they’re about,” says Muya. “They’ll surprise you—because Simone definitely surprised us.”

“You don’t have to go out and save the world,” says McCarthy. “Just save your block.”

Block by block

Stacy Finney, Liverpool’s mayor and a public school art teacher, doesn’t think most people in town realize how special the place is. She remembers a friend passing through on his way to Chicago, and the way he marveled at their kids and other townsfolk, blissful and carefree at Onondaga Lake Park.

“He was like, ‘Look at them thinking this is totally normal.’ And it was true, you know, they do,” she says. “They genuinely think that this is normal.”

They were biking that day along Onondaga Lake, on whose shores the Mohawk, Oneida, Onondaga, Cayuga and Seneca people once brokered peace, making it a sacred space to be respected. Decades of industrial dumping at the turn of the 20th century rendered Onondaga one of the most polluted lakes in the country, but tremendous effort has made it fishable again, and birders flock to photograph the eagle’s nest near the Skä•noñh Great Law of Peace Center.

“I do think there’s a spirit of volunteerism in Liverpool,” Finney continues. “Because people love the area they live in, they want to enhance it. You’ve got to love where you live, and invest your time where you live.”

Why trust us

For more than 100 years, Reader’s Digest has been known for its heartwarming true stories and focus on community. In 2017, we launched the Nicest Places in America, an annual contest that honors kind, inspiring people making a difference in their hometowns. Readers send in nominations, and Reader’s Digest’s editorial team vets the entries and whittles them down with the help of a panel of judges. This year, the judges included Today co-anchor Craig Melvin, Tuesdays with Morrie author Mitch Albom, author and podcast host Mónica Guzmán, StoryCorps CEO Sandra Clark, and Molly Irani, the co-founder of Chai Pani Restaurant Group in Asheville, North Carolina, which was 2025’s Nicest Place in America. We are committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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We’ve interviewed some of the biggest names in entertainment—including Academy Award nominee and Emmy winner Angela Bassett, two-time Oscar winner Robert De Niro, and actress, model and bestselling author Brooke Shields—and asked them to share the advice they’d give their younger selves. And these are people who know a thing or two about dreaming big, taking risks, navigating setbacks and becoming seriously good at what they do. Their answers are honest, surprising and, above all, incredibly relatable. Think of it as a little hard-earned wisdom from people who’ve been there and now wish they could whisper it into their younger selves’ ears. Lucky for us, they’re sharing it with all of us instead.

Read on for the life advice these accomplished stars wish they’d known sooner. You just might find the words you need to hear.

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Eric Stonestreet

“I would say that it’s not that big of a deal. Most things that we get hung up on really turn out to be not that big of a deal. And you’ll know when they are [a big deal] as you move through life.”

Angela Bassett

“I give it to myself every day, because life is so hectic. I also give it to my kids, and they finish the phrase. I say, ‘You can’t dance.’ They say, ‘To every record.'”

Sheryl Lee Ralph

“Girl, be patient. Have patience. Trust me, it is all going to work out for you. The only people you really need to listen to and pay attention to are your parents, and use your sense of discernment. You will know those good mentors when they come along. But be patient, you little impatient person.”

Robert De Niro

“I have a lot of advice to give to my younger self. I remember I met a guy when I was a kid, maybe in my teens, and he was a salesman at a store and he said, ‘If I only knew then what I know now.’ So I have a lot to tell my younger self. Also, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do certain things, but be aware of the consequences. You have to learn through those experiences.”

Brooke Shields

“Like yourself more. Be kinder to yourself. And you don’t always have to say yes.”

Lance Bass

“Don’t care what people think of you. Live life for yourself and not for anyone else.”

Candice King

“Stop listening to the noise. Annie Lamott has this wonderful [concept], and she calls it Radio KFKD. It’s all the static and noise that can kind of cloud your brain. She talks about turning that noise down, so I would try to instill the concept of turning Radio KFKD down in my younger self’s brain.”

Neil Giraldo

“Don’t let people live inside your head that don’t belong there.”

Pat Benatar

 “Keep doing what you have to do.”

Michelle Monaghan

“Wear sunscreen!”

Alison Sweeney

“Don’t worry so much. It’s all going to work out. You work hard, and people see that. So maybe don’t be so insecure about it. It’s happening.”

Ted Danson

“I can’t wait for you to see what’s happening next for you. I’d say relax and enjoy.”

Adrienne Bailon-Houghton

“I would say, learn that ‘no’ is your friend and not your enemy. I think it took me a really long time, and I’m still in my 40s learning how to get comfortable with saying no. When I was younger, I was OK with feeling uncomfortable just to make other people feel comfortable, and that wasn’t fair to me. Learning how to say no has been a gift.”

Meghan Trainor

“You’re doing great.”

Russell Wilson

“Keep going.”

Aja King

“I would tell her, ‘You are so smart and so beautiful just as you are. You don’t have to pretend to be anything else for anyone. You are enough.'”

Debra Messing

“Don’t listen to anyone. Just follow your instincts.”

Lisa Ann Walter

“Forget about the 10 pounds—just be the way you’re supposed to be. You’re going to ruin your metabolism and be miserable for your whole life. Forget it. And it’s someday in the near future that big butt that you have, that Sicilian Koolie, is going to be so popular that girls are going to try to buy it. So stop hating your butt.”

Jordin Sparks

“I would probably tell her that she’s doing great and that life is going to be so insane, more than you ever dreamed of, and to not sweat the small stuff.”

Barry Levinson

“Just deal with whatever seems like the thing I should do. Growing up, I never had an ambition, certainly not to direct or write or any of that. It wasn’t even in my conscious mind whatsoever. I just sort of followed things that interested me, but not knowing where that was going to go. I had no goals set. I was just [thinking], What am I attracted to? And I just went down that road.”

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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And you likely have a similar story.

But making friends as an adult is a whole different thing. I’ve been a fitness teacher for more than a decade, which has given me a front-row seat to watching adult friendships form. For example, there were two women in my early morning hot Pilates class who showed up every Monday and Wednesday for months to sweat, shake and silently swear at me. They usually placed their mats next to each other. They could ID the other person’s water bottle in a lineup. They noticed when the other got a new pedicure. Heck, they spent months inches away from each other wearing less clothing than professional gymnasts, and yet they’d never said much beyond “good morning.”

One day, I introduced them, telling them they had a lot in common. There was an awkward silence before one said, “So I see you also like suffering in a dark room with strangers before dawn,” and from that point on, I got to watch a beautiful friendship develop. Now they grab smoothies together, chat about their kids and even know each other’s last names. 

It’s a process I’ve watched dozens of times: going from head nods to words to whole sentences to, eventually, whole friendships, with birthday texts, carpools, the whole shebang. This can take months or even years—but it doesn’t have to. In fact, there’s an elementary school tactic to making friends as an adult that forges those relationships on a truncated timeline. I spoke to three friendship experts about this surprisingly simple, slightly embarrassing, extremely effective technique that you actually mastered by the time you were 7 and just kind of forgot.

Read on to find out what it is so you can make new connections more easily and expand your social circle in all sorts of wonderful ways.

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Why is making friends as an adult so much harder?

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of making friends, we need to address this head-scratching part of social interactions and how they change as we get older. “Adults make friendship much harder than it needs to be,” says Kyler Shumway, PsyD, a licensed psychologist who is also the author of The Friendship Formula and the host of Science of Friendship. “We sit around waiting for friendship in a world that lacks structure for adult connection, we age and diversify, and see less and less in common. And then, when we do have opportunities for friendship, we keep our cards close to the chest because we’re afraid of getting burned.”

The stakes here are bigger than just having someone to sit with at lunch in the office. “We have a basic psychological and biological need to be connected to other people,” says Alan Rozanski, MD, a professor of medicine at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai who studies social connectivity. He points to research from a landmark 1979 study of nearly 7,000 adults, which found that people with the fewest social ties were significantly more likely to die within the study period than those with the strongest ones, regardless of how healthy they were to begin with. “And every study since has confirmed it.”

What is the elementary school tactic that can help you make friends as an adult?

You ready for this? Sit at the same table. For kids, it’s the actual lunch table. For adults, it doesn’t have to be that literal, although it can be. Let’s call in the Lunch Table Effect. Here’s how it works: Choose one place (a running club, a mom group, a gym, a trivia night, a theater group, a pickleball league), show up consistently, notice the others who are also there, and be open. Eventually, those people become familiar and then friendly and then, with the help of some vulnerability, real friends. 

“Kids become friends with whoever they keep ending up next to, and it’s not that different for adults,” Shumway says. He explains that friendship needs the three E’s: engagement, experience and emotional bonding. Those translate, respectively, to opportunities to meet people, time invested together and some real connection. Sitting at the same table checks off the first two almost automatically.

Science backs this up: A foundational study of relationships done by the University of Kansas found that it takes about 50 hours together for adults to go from strangers to casual friends, 90 hours to become real friends and at least 200 hours to be truly close friends. And guess what—90 hours is basically an elementary school’s semester worth of recess, and 200 is just over a school year.

That said, it’s not just about time. The researchers found that time spent with people in required settings, like a work meeting or a mandatory class, does very little for sparking friendships. You can share a cubicle wall with someone for years and still think of them as “Bob whose middle name is ‘from accounting.’” The hours that truly count are the ones that you actively choose. This is the part that’s built in for children through school recesses, parks and play dates. As an adult, you have to create your own version of lunch and recess. 

Tayler Meade, a mental health coach and the author of A Note to the One Left Walking in the Grass, adds an important related habit kids have that adults tend to lose: They leave a seat open. “We can start choosing to leave seats open, metaphorically and physically,” she says, “instead of saving them for people we think we’re supposed to connect with.”

But sitting at the same table is just the first step. At some point, someone is going to have to say something, and this requires a measure of vulnerability that many adults are not comfortable with. “Kids are naturally more willing to be vulnerable, to put themselves out there,” Dr. Rozanski says. “It can feel scary or too risky to adults, but offering a little vulnerability is how we build reciprocal relationships.” Vulnerability is how you get to the third “E”: emotional bonding. 

You don’t have to say anything profound; you just have to say something. Shumway is a good example of how this works. He shares that in grad school, he’d been hitting it off with a classmate named Dan over lunch, until the conversation ran dry and things got awkwardly quiet. So he decided to just say the thing out loud: “Dan, I’m going to try to be real vulnerable with you. I’m not really sure how to make a friend. I don’t have any, really, and I’m not sure if I know how. But I like you, you’re a cool dude, and I want to try to be friends with you.” Dan grinned. “I was just starting to think you didn’t like me,” he said. Dan is now Shumway’s best friend, weekly workout buddy and co-speaker on friendship and neurodiversity.

Why does the Lunch Table Effect work so well?

The Lunch Table Effect works because it solves two of the trickiest parts of making adult friends—proximity and time—while keeping things relatively low stakes. Really, all you need to do is keep showing up. 

Nostalgia is a big part of the appeal. Sitting at the same table (or being on the same team or in the same exercise class) reminds adults of the fun things they used to do when they were kids, when life felt simpler. By the time you’re an adult, you’re juggling so many responsibilities that the thought of adding one extra thing—even if that is a new friend—can feel overwhelming. So you need to take it back to the primary school level, Dr. Rozanski says. 

How do you do that? By being deliberate. This intentionality is super important because you prioritize things that you actively choose. “Things that are important but not urgent, like friends, are the easiest things to bump to next week, so you have to be intentional about it,” he explains. “You need to intentionally find your ‘lunch table.’” 

And lastly, it’s low pressure by design. You’re not asking anyone to be your best friend and drive you to the airport at 2 a.m. You’re just asking them to play pickleball next week. Then the repetition locks in the path to friendship.

What happens in our brains when we do this?

Every time you show up somewhere familiar, your brain takes familiar people from the “stranger, therefore possibly unsafe” category and reclassifies them as “probably safe,” which settles down your whole nervous system. It’s called the mere-exposure effect, the well-documented phenomenon that the more familiar things (and people) become, the more we like them. So every game night or yoga class where you see the same faces is another reinforcement to your brain that these people are OK.

Shared positive experiences also light up our neural pathways in ways that other things don’t. Dr. Rozanski points out that laughing or doing something enjoyable together triggers the feel-good brain chemistry that bonds people. And it’s one reason why “misery loves company” activities (a killer workout, a chaotic trivia round, truly bad karaoke) tend to bond people even faster. Dr. Rozanski references psychologist Daniel Goleman’s book Social Intelligence, which details the neuroscience of connection, including mirror neurons—brain cells that fire both when we act and when we watch someone else act, part of how we come to feel empathy for others. And oxytocin, sometimes nicknamed the “bonding hormone,” is released during positive social connections and seems to be part of what causes people to trust each other. 

But the real magic isn’t the hormones, he says. It’s in the repetition and consistency, which trains our brains and calms our nervous system.

What will give this a higher probability of success?

Our experts have a few simple tips to make the Lunch Table Effect work faster and more effectively:

• Put cheese on the broccoli. “Social interaction can feel a lot like broccoli,” Shumway says. “We know it’s healthy and good for us, but it’s not always appealing.” His fix: Pick a “table” you’d enjoy sitting at, even if you never made a single friend there. Like moving? Try a climbing gym or hiking group. Like reading? Join a book club. Can’t find a group that fits? Start one. Shumway runs a recurring D&D game wherever he lives because he genuinely loves it, friends or no friends. 
• Skip the small talk (once you’ve earned the right to). Once you’ve become acquaintances, skip past the “some weather we’re having” for a line with more substance, like: “What’s something you’re really excited about this week?” People consistently underestimate how much they’ll enjoy a deeper conversation even with someone they barely know, and they tend to feel happier and more connected than if they stuck to small talk. 
• Say hi to everyone, not just your favorite person. Meade is big on this one. The more you look around for others to include, the more potential friends you will find, even if they’re not the ones you’d usually think of first. Even brief interactions make you feel happier, and practicing on low-stakes strangers makes the real invitations feel easier.
• Move away from the table eventually. The table is great for establishing a relationship, but true friendships evolve past one single activity. Remember, hours spent purely inside one closed system don’t build closeness on their own—the relationship needs proof it can survive outside its original habitat.
• Schedule it. Yes, on your actual calendar. Because friendship falls into that “important but not urgent” quadrant, Dr. Rozanski suggests deciding in advance how often you’ll show up—weekly, twice a month, whatever—instead of leaving it to whenever you happen to feel like it.
• Give it at least three tries. Too many adults go to one dance class, don’t make a friend, then give up and go home. Or they’ll have a small rough patch and decide the other person isn’t worth it. But kids don’t give up after the first try, and “they can disagree during playtime and hug at the end of the day,” Meade says. Adults tend to treat one awkward interaction as a final verdict. Shumway’s rule of thumb: Try connecting three times before reading it as a genuine no.

What mistakes should you avoid?

The biggest risks here aren’t rejection or looking silly—they’re the little mistakes that torpedo the friendship before it can really get going.

• Don’t assume proximity is enough. If your only shared “table” is a required one, then pick a chosen activity on top of it—lunch away from your desk, happy hour, anything you’re both there for by choice.
• Don’t be glued to your phone. Dr. Rozanski describes how people used to talk to their neighbors on the bus, and now, everyone is on their phones. But every scroll is a small, missed opportunity for a connection. And this includes taking out your earbuds if you’re used to wearing them everywhere.
• Don’t resort to gossip. A common friendship mistake is to “bond” over talking about others. “Those are empty calories,” Dr. Rozanski says, referring to quick, easy chatter about other people, as opposed to “the stuff that fills us up,” which comes from actually giving something of yourself. Not only that, but gossip can backfire by making you look less trustworthy.
• Don’t mask. Kids haven’t yet learned to mask out of fear of shame or rejection, so they’ll tell a total stranger they like their shirt, or that their dog just died, within minutes of meeting them. Shumway says adults tend to do the opposite, presenting a safe, buttoned-up version instead. Closeness comes from being willing to be seen, not from being impressive.

Where might you have the most luck with this technique?

The optimal places for the Lunch Table Effect are anywhere that you’d see the same people consistently. Good bets include:

• A recurring class you’d enjoy anyway—dance, spin, pottery, improv, a language course
• An athletic group, like a running club, rec league or regular pickup game
• Trivia night, or a bar that hosts the same event weekly
• Volunteering for a cause you genuinely care about
• A book club, hobby group or recurring tabletop game
• A place of worship or community group you attend regularly
• The dog park at roughly the same time each day

Worse bets are the places designed for exactly one interaction and then never again: a wedding you’re not hosting, a one-off networking mixer, a concert (too loud to actually talk), or a party where you know exactly one other person who promptly disappears. None of those gives the Lunch Table Effect anything to work with, because there’s no “again” built in. The magic sauce isn’t the table itself. It’s the repeat visit.

So the next time you’re sweating next to the same stranger for the third month in a row, skip the compliment about their water bottle and instead try what Shumway did with Dan and just say the thing: “Hey, I feel like we should actually know each other’s names by now.” Worst case, it’s a little embarrassing for three seconds. Best case, you’ve just picked your table.

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on the Lunch Table Effect, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who frequently writes about communication, psychology, etiquette and common curiosities for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Kyler Shumway, PsyD, licensed psychologist and CEO of Deep Eddy Psychotherapy; personal interview, Sept. 15, 2026
• Alan Rozanski, MD, professor of medicine at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai; personal interview, Sept. 16, 2026
• Tayler Meade, board-certified mental health and brain health coach and author; personal interview, Sept. 16, 2026
• Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: “How Many Hours Does It Take to Make a Friend?” 
• American Journal of Epidemiology: “Social Networks, Host Resistance, and Mortality: A Nine-Year Follow-up Study of Alameda County Residents”
• Roots of Loneliness Project: “Loneliness Statistics”

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Why? Well, just when you thought your inbox couldn’t get any more stuffed with stuff you don’t want to read, a major email carrier recently launched new fundraising rules for political groups. And you can be certain they will take advantage of them. How much can possibly fit into our already-at-capacity inboxes? Just you wait. Things are about to get way worse—but there is something you can do about it. Read on for the details.

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Why are we about to get an avalanche of political fundraising emails?

Google recently launched a new Gmail Verified Sender Program, which will allow “eligible, verified political committees” to send “policy-compliant and non-abusive messages” straight to your email inbox, bypassing the spam filter.

The program is open to candidates, political parties, political action committees (PACs) and similar groups registered with the Federal Election Commission (FEC) or other election authorities. To qualify, political senders must be verified, send emails from a public domain and keep spam below 0.3% of the total number of email they send. If users mark more than 0.3% as spam when the emails come in, senders can get suspended for seven days or booted from the program.

The policy went into effect on Sept. 8, so the new reality is well underway.

Why did Google think this was a good idea?

One reason Google may have decided to allow increased political fundraising is to reduce the number of lawsuits it’s had to respond to. The Republican National Committee (RNC) sued Google in 2022 for “throttling” its email messaging campaigns with its spam filters. The case was dismissed, but the RNC appealed. In January 2026, the RNC lost again.

Also in 2022, the RNC and the Republican Senate and Congressional campaign committees filed a joint complaint with the FEC over Google’s spam filters, which they accused of intentionally censoring their messages. The FEC dismissed the complaint. Other lawsuits and complaints over the years have met similar fates.

But back to the original question. Given the lack of a big announcement by the company, it’s not clear that Google does think it’s a good idea, at least in terms of pleasing Gmail recipients. Google quietly updated its Help Center website to reflect the policy change, underscoring the idea that it anticipates users will not be happy with the increased email traffic.

And this isn’t the first time Google tried this. Back in 2022, the company launched a pilot program that also prevented political emails from being filtered as spam. Comments to the FEC were uniformly negative, according to a review of hundreds of them by Axios.

Aside from an overflowing inbox, are there any other potential dangers?

The main one has less to do with the volume of spam and more with the senders themselves. Being verified under this program doesn’t tell you anything about the fundraisers’ business practices or where your money will go.

“I did a lot of work in Congress to crack down on scam PACs that send you fundraising,” Katie Porter, a former Democratic congresswoman from California, told CNN when the policy became public. “They say they’re going to help elect veterans, but when you look at where the money goes, 99.99% of the money goes back into the pockets of political consultants. This doesn’t do anything to tackle that.”

Another risk is scammers trying to mimic a legitimate political group to solicit funds, harvest your data or hack your accounts. In 2021, the Department of Justice (DOJ) charged three people with fraudulently soliciting $3.5 million from unsuspecting givers. And just before the 2024 election, the FBI warned of phishing scams, merchandise “no-shipment” scams and other fraudulent activity masked as legitimate political correspondence.

Is there any way to stop the deluge of emails?

You can reduce them, but it’s unlikely you can stop them completely. Here are four options.

• Click unsubscribe. Google recommends that senders offer a one-click unsubscribe button, so use it. You can also open the message and navigate to the unsubscribe options at the company’s website.
• Create a filter. In the search bar at the top, click the “show search options” icon to show filters. Or click the box next to an unwanted email, then hit the three dots menu and select “filter messages like these.”
• Mark the email as spam. If a company does not unsubscribe you, mark the emails as spam. Know that this will not unsubscribe you, but it will send the emails automatically to your spam inbox.
• Block the sender. If you want nothing else from the sender at all, open the email, hit the three dots “more” menu and select “Block [sender].”

Sources:

• Google: “Gmail Verified Sender Program eligibility & policies”
• New York Times: “Google Just Made It Easier for Campaigns to Send You Fund-Raising Emails”
• Fox News: “Gmail change may flood your inbox with political email”
• Reuters: “US appeals court rejects RNC lawsuit claiming Google email spam filters harmed fundraising”
• CNN: “FEC dismisses RNC complaint that Google’s spam filters were biased against conservatives”
• CNN Transcripts: “The Story Is with Elex Michaelson, Aug. 19, 2026”
• U.S. Election Assistance Commission: “Alert – Misleading Voter Registration Phishing Email”
• DOJ: “Three Individuals Charged with $3.5 Million Scheme to Collect Contributions for Fraudulent Political Action Committees”
• Axios: “Leave campaign emails in spam, FEC commenters demand”

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He fact-checks with a heap of modesty: The Celine Dion moment was just part of a rehearsal for the 1999 Grammys. Famed tenor Andrea Bocelli—set to duet with the Canadian superstar on the broadcast—wasn’t able to make it to practice, so Foster called Groban to stand in. “And while I think, in hindsight, I held my own through the nerves to sing with Celine,” he says with a chuckle, “I was not ready for primetime.”

But Groban’s talent in that moment, says Rosie O’Donnell, who was hosting the Grammys that year and caught the performance, was undeniable. “Josh was [basically] not old enough to drive,” she tells Reader’s Digest. “And he did the rehearsal and I was in shock. I said, ‘Who is that kid? Opera boy. He sang like an opera star!’ And David [Foster] said, ‘Oh, he’s this young kid and he’s going to go big places,’ and I’m like, ‘Well, I gotta have him on my show!’”

Singing on The Rosie O’Donnell Show not long after felt like a fluke to Groban. “I wish I could tell you that was a star-making moment,” he says, “but it wasn’t. It was an amazing thing that Rosie did for me. That’s a piece of my history.” But after the appearance, “I went back to class. Nobody knew my name. I wasn’t signed. I didn’t have a producer, a record label, a publicist, an agent or a manager. I had my parents.”

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The beginnings

So who was that kid who had the chops to duet with Celine Dion at 17? The son of a visual arts teacher (his mom, Lindy) and an executive recruiter who happened to play a mean trumpet (his dad, Jack), Groban says he grew up “in the center of Hollywood, but not surrounded by show business.” That said, creativity was embraced and curiosity rewarded.

Groban’s home had Blood, Sweat & Tears, Gladys Knight, Elton John and Otis Redding playing on repeat, along with his dad’s jazz and classical albums. Groban was also taken to see the Los Angeles production of The Phantom of the Opera as a kid. “I thought it was the coolest show I’d ever seen in my life,” he says. “As an angsty tween, I connected with the antihero-ness of the Phantom. ‘He’s just misunderstood! Let him play his organ!’ I found myself defending him. But I’d sing the music because it was so heart-wrenching and beautiful.”

Phantom led to Sunday in the Park with George and other musicals. “I was totally hooked,” Groban says. “I was like, ‘This is a medium that I feel I’m right for. I want to sing. I want to act. I want to not dance—but I want to do the other two!’” And he did so with the full support of his family.

“They wanted to harness whatever wild energy they saw in me,” he says. “I had ADHD and didn’t know it. I was bouncing off the walls. I was distracted in class. I was sitting in the back a lot because I was lost inside myself. And I think my parents saw these artistic bursts of inspiration as an access point for expression and confidence.”

The biggest burst, he says, came from his first solo moment on stage in junior high: “I did what a lot of young singers do when they love it but are too shy to say they love it, which is: I joined the choir. I’d be in the back and just loved the blend.” But when his choral teacher Richard Berent asked the class if anyone knew what scat singing was, Groban—thanks to his dad’s jazz records—raised his hand. He was then chosen to scat a solo in the Gershwin jazz standard “’S Wonderful.”

Though he worried a live scat would equate to social suicide (“It was like … dead man walking,” he says), on the night of the performance, with about 70 people in the audience, everything clicked. “Hearing myself on a microphone with no choir behind me, expressing a song that I loved … that was a moment that I’ll never forget. It was like a halo of light. For a kid that was never focused, I felt like I was on this superhighway of focus.”

Even better? It made singing a safe identity to embrace. “In school, even the hardest-edged kids were like, ‘Yeah, bro, that was great,’” he says. He went from being “the shy kid that can’t make friends” to something different: a singer.

The (long-awaited) breakthrough

And that brings us back to the Grammys, The Rosie O’Donnell Show and then, about two years later, in May 2001, another mainstream moment you might remember: a role both acting and singing on Ally McBeal. From there, finally, the self-titled first album.

“I got to make an album in absolute peace and quiet,” Groban says. “Nobody knew I was on the horizon.” And when it debuted in November 2001, “It did not come out of the gate successful,” he says. Well … at first. His duet with Charlotte Church, singing “The Prayer” as part of the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics closing ceremony in February 2002, was seen by an estimated 1 billion people.

And six weeks later, as the momentum was building, 20/20 did a feature on the young star. “I went from 120 on the charts to, like, 20 the next day,” he says. The breakthrough was finally official. In a New York Times piece in July of that year minting him “The New Boy Wonder,” the then-21-year-old put his stake in the ground for his next big goal: Broadway. When asked about his dream part, he answered, “Any role in Sweeney Todd.”

The pivots

Fast-forward 10 years, and Groban had hit all the marks: Grammy nominations, platinum records, packed arena shows and a fan army of “Grobanites” flocking to every appearance (some shouting marriage proposals from the stands). The world was his oyster.

But Groban was still, he says, figuring himself out. (And remember that in his teens, the two things he loved to do were singing and acting.) The self-described film geek explored all kinds of on-camera roles, from popping up as Andy Bernard’s younger brother in two episodes of The Office to co-leading the Netflix comedy The Good Cop with Tony Danza in 2018.

He played jerks (see his still-discussed role as Emma Stone’s lame boyfriend Richard in Crazy, Stupid, Love). He sang tweets on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and played himself on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Recreation, Glee, American Dad! and CSI: NY.

“I was advised for sure to not blow the brand,” he admits. “But it allowed me to show that there was a human being behind this persona. A lot of the press I got was so serious and so much like, ‘We’re putting this opera child on a pedestal.’ Comedy was my way to get back on my feet, back on the ground.”

And that turned out to be especially true for self-deprecating comedy. “It was a way for me to machete through my own demons, put a pie in my own face,” he says. “And also to be around some of the funniest, smartest people that I’ve ever met. The rhythm of a great song is the same as finding the rhythm that makes somebody laugh.”

The ultimate team-up of his talents finally led Groban to Broadway. He appeared there in 2016 for the first time in the musical Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812. His leading role as depressed outcast Pierre earned him his first Tony Award nomination for Best Actor in a Musical.

Then, in a full-circle moment, 21 years after calling it his dream role in the New York Times, his second Broadway starring role was the titular role of Sweeney Todd in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, for which he got his second Tony nod.

“I’ll never forget our first night with an audience, and I was standing behind him watching him sing the first verse of “My Friend,” says his co-star Annaleigh Ashford. “The song is a serial killer singing to a razor blade, and I could feel the air in the room change. I could feel the audience lean in.”

The impact

Back in the early 2000s, as Groban’s star was rising, the media clasped onto a quote from a music industry exec who called him the first internet star. Groban’s youth made him a natural for the latest technologies, from live chats to Vine video shorts. And the clearest example of his technology-fueled community-building power is the influence of the Grobanites.

These diehards, estimated at over 20,000  strong, came together in the early days of the web to find community and, just as importantly, leverage their collective voice to lobby radio stations and TV programs to get their favorite singer on the air. But they also supported the nonprofit and community work that Groban has embraced over the years—like working with Project 46664, Nelson Mandela’s global campaign to raise awareness of HIV/AIDS in Africa.

Groban says his devoted fans took their encouragement to a new level in 2005. During a show that year, he recalls, he saw a group of Grobanites make a move toward the stage—and they had something with them. “It was one of those Publisher’s Clearinghouse–type checks,” he says. “I don’t even know where you get one of those!”

The fans told Groban they’d been raising the money for a long time and that it was a donation for whenever he wanted to start a foundation. “I see artists who are built up and torn down in the same year by fan bases,” he says. “And for me to have a group of people that connects with my music but also wants to be a part of the rest of it as well? That’s one of the most profound things that’s ever happened to me.”

Groban channeled the funding into what became the Find Your Light Foundation, an organization that supports arts education. “Arts education isn’t just a feel-good extracurricular,” he says. “It can be as lifesaving and life affirming for other kids as it was for me.” Since its inception, the foundation has donated over $7.5 million to 450 arts education organizations around the United States. Joining Groban on the foundation’s board are three people who understand the power of creativity in kids’ lives—his parents and his brother, Chris.

“An amazing part of this philanthropic journey is how deeply he involves his family,” says Find Your Light Foundation Executive Director Jeffrey Dollinger. “Philanthropy isn’t a vanity project for him—it’s rooted in a deep curiosity of how the arts can make the world a brighter and better place.”

The future

At 45, with a life consisting of a billion individual choices thus far, what does Groban see as the best decision he ever made? “Saying yes to making a Broadway debut was a big one,” he says. “Revisiting a dream that I’d had since I was a kid, knowing full well that it could go sideways and the critics and audiences could say ‘Go back to your home.’”

He pauses to think. “And proposing.”

We haven’t yet talked about the sweetest marriage proposal of 2026: In April, Groban got down on one knee in Disneyland to propose to his longtime girlfriend, actress Natalie McQueen. “That’s probably the best decision I’ve ever made in my life, asking that question,” he says. “It was also a decision for myself. I’ve carried this feeling of expectation. There’s always something next. You’re never slowing down; the train just keeps moving. And to get down on one knee and ask that question to me was like, Right, you also deserve this. It took a lot for me to finally give myself that permission.” He smiles.

McQueen is by his side now as he tours his latest album, Cinematic, an eclectic collection of movie classics, from Skyfall to As Time Goes By. In October, he’ll perform a five-show residency at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

“I’m feeling more blessed now than I ever felt during that first red carpet when everybody was shouting [my] name,” he says. At this midlife mark, he says, he has a better perspective. He’s been through both the highs and the lows. (At this point of the interview, Groban jumps into the chorus of Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now”—and, of course, it’s wonderful. The exact right choice for the closing credits of our conversation.)

“I relate to that song very much,” he says. “When I first sang some of these songs at 17, I hadn’t lived. I didn’t know what that stuff felt like. I didn’t know anything. So to have all of that rich nuance of life behind me now, to sing all the songs in my catalog now—it comes from a much deeper place.”

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At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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2025 winner: Asheville, North Carolina

Asheville has the perfect blend of big-city creativity and small-town charm. Cultured, quirky and welcoming, this small city in the Blue Ridge Mountains—our 2025 Nicest Place in America winner—is especially appealing to travelers who like their sightseeing with a heaping side of interesting art, delicious food and plenty of local character.

The River Arts District, along the French Broad River, is the city’s creative quarter. Here, artists and craftspeople, from ironworkers and painters to potters and glassblowers, have studios and galleries in former industrial buildings. It’s an area made for spending a day getting lost, watching artists at work or joining a hands-on class to make art of your own.

The city is also home to many James Beard Award–winning restaurants, including Cúrate Bar de Tapas and Chai Pani. These restaurants serve more than just great food—they offer a window into the community spirit that makes Asheville so special. After Hurricane Helene devastated the region in September 2024, many local restaurants sprang into action—including Indian street-food restaurant Chai Pani, where a skeleton crew wrapped sandwiches to feed hundreds of neighbors.

That’s just one of the many stories that explain why exploring Asheville’s many breweries, independent shops and galleries—or even visiting the Biltmore, the impressive Vanderbilt estate just outside downtown—feels more special than a typical getaway.

Where to stay: Boutique property The Foundry Hotel occupies a restored former steel foundry, and it features exposed brick and other original industrial details throughout. Located in The Block, the city’s historically Black neighborhood, the hotel is also just steps from downtown shops, restaurants and attractions.

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2024 winner: Provo, Utah

I’ve passed through Provo, Utah, many times, and it’s the kind of place where you can spend a morning hiking through the surrounding Wasatch Mountains and be back in town for lunch. Its location makes it especially appealing for outdoor enthusiasts, since it has so many options for hikers, bikers, anglers, climbers and more, all close at hand.

Home to Brigham Young University and some 35,000 students, Provo has the unmistakable atmosphere and energy of a college town, but also a strong sense of community and a culture of volunteerism.

A trip to the high-altitude city might include a steep hike on the trails of Y Mountain. Once you reach the giant white Y, which was created by university students in the early 20th century, you’ll be rewarded with panoramic views of Provo and Utah Lake. For an easier outing, take a walk or bike ride along the paved parkway beside the Provo River, which winds into scenic Provo Canyon.

Autumn turns crisp and more than a little magical in this part of Utah. The season brings the forests along the Alpine Loop Scenic Byway to vivid life, and there are plenty of opportunities to stop for a brisk hike, cozy picnic or worthwhile visit to Timpanogos Cave National Monument. When the snow starts falling, Provo is also a convenient launching point for skiing and snowboarding at nearby Sundance Mountain Resort.

Where to stay: For a dose of history, book a room at the eight-suite Hines Mansion, a Victorian-era mansion in downtown Provo designed by Richard Kletting, the architect behind the Utah State Capitol. Filled with character and original period details, it’s within walking distance of many of downtown Provo’s most interesting shops and stops.

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2023 winner: Buffalo, New York

In Upstate New York, warmer weather makes Buffalo, a city of nearly 300,000 people on the shores of Lake Erie, a pretty compelling getaway. The friendly vibe in the City of Good Neighbors is on full display in the 350-acre Delaware Park on Hoyt Lake. Often called the city’s Central Park, the centerpiece of Frederick Law Olmsted’s pioneering park system comes alive in summer, from the Japanese Garden and Rose Garden to Shakespeare in Delaware Park, the annual free outdoor theater tradition.

Of course, the NFL’s Buffalo Bills are woven into the city’s personality. In the fall, football fans can experience the city’s passionate Bills culture at the brand-new Highmark Stadium in Orchard Park. Pride in the hometown team is palpable, from the tailgating parties to the sea of blue and red that fills the stadium on game days.

And now, fans can get an inside look at the sport at Science Stadium, a new permanent exhibition at the Buffalo Museum of Science. The interactive, hands-on experience explores football and the science behind it, and gives fans the chance to record their own highlight-reel sportscast from an anchor desk.

Where to stay: The Richardson Hotel, in a former 19th-century mental health treatment complex, is now a National Historic Landmark. Its grounds were designed by landscape architects Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux, and the property still showcases their grand vision of architecture and green space on the Richardson Olmsted Campus.

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2022 winner: Coulterville, California

On a recent trip through Northern California, I drove along roads that wound past rolling fields, sprawling ranches and wide-open spaces before reaching tiny Coulterville, a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it town in Northern California. With just 118 residents, according to the latest official census, the former Gold Rush town is worth slowing down for. In a region where wildfires can rage out of control, threatening livelihoods, the people who call Coulterville home have learned they can rely on one another.

This rugged corner in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada gets far less attention than San Francisco, about 140 miles to the west, but Coulterville was once a thriving gold-mining mecca and a major stop on the way to another national treasure, Yosemite—which is the reason I stumbled upon the tiny town.

Today, it has a handful of preserved Gold Rush–era buildings lining Main Street, like the Sun Sun Wo Co., a former Chinese mercantile that was part of Coulterville’s Chinatown. Stop at the Northern Mariposa County History Center for a bit of on-site gold panning and to see Whistling Billy, an eight-ton Porter locomotive once used to haul ore from nearby mines.

Where to stay: For a unique taste of Coulterville, spend the night in a 1964 boxcar and caboose at Vacation Station, a decommissioned train converted into one-of-a-kind lodging. Larger groups might consider the Yosemite Paradise Inn, a bed-and-breakfast just outside of town.

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2021 winner: Kodak, Tennessee

The tiny town of Kodak, in Sevier County, has a big and very convenient advantage: Its central location puts several of East Tennessee’s most visited attractions within easy reach.

Pigeon Forge, the entertainment hub of the Smokies and home to Dolly Parton’s Dollywood, as well as numerous live dinner and music shows, is about 15 miles away. The area around the iconic theme park will no doubt be hosting many events and tributes to the late singer and beloved philanthropist, so stop by if you’re in the area.

Gatlinburg, a mountain resort town and gateway to Great Smoky Mountains National Park, is a similar distance from Kodak. And Knoxville, with its restaurants, museums and historic neighborhoods, is about 20 miles west. For nature lovers, the scenic drives and 800-plus miles of trails of the Smokies are roughly 25 miles south, making the country’s most-visited national park an easy day trip.

Where to stay: The Quality Inn Interstate in Kodak was named Reader’s Digest‘s Nicest Place in America in 2021, so why not stay there? The proprietor, Sean Patel, an immigrant from India, offered locals rooms at a fraction of the usual rate when a major winter storm on Christmas Eve 2020 left many in the area without power. The conveniently located property is a great base for exploring the surrounding sites, including Dollywood and the Smoky Mountains.

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2020 winner: Buchanan, Michigan

In southwest Michigan, the small city of Buchanan is about 90 minutes from Chicago—but a world away. In 2020, Reader’s Digest named the Midwestern city its Nicest Place in America, recognizing how residents here came together that year to fight racial injustice and overcome the coronavirus pandemic.

More than six years later, the town of just over 4,000 residents remains a genuinely appealing and easy escape, and there’s much more to do than its small size might suggest. Downtown, Front Street is lined with independent shops, cafes and restaurants. The Common, a community gathering place, hosts concerts, festivals, farmers markets and other events that bring residents together.

The town is also surrounded by nature. The roughly four-mile McCoy Creek Trail winds through woods and along the water, making it a pleasant way to explore the area by foot or bike. For a taste of the region’s wine and craft-beverage scene, head to Hickory Creek Winery or River Saint Joe, a farmstead brewery.

Where to stay: Set on 600 acres of riverfront countryside about 5 miles from downtown Buchanan, the Morris Estate offers suites, cabins and plenty of scenic views. The estate was a farm and retreat for the family of E.M. Morris, a local philanthropist and former Notre Dame student whose influence can be heavily felt in the area. A darling vintage chapel, delicious dining and luxurious accommodations await you.

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2019 winner: Columbiana, Ohio

Columbiana, in northeastern Ohio, is a festive place to visit at any time of year. But each September, the city comes alive to celebrate the Columbiana Street Fair, a longstanding tradition that allows neighbors to meet neighbors and raises money for the local American Legion. The entire town (and anyone stopping by) can enjoy rides, food, music and a parade.

Despite its name, Columbiana is closer to Cleveland than Columbus—and even closer to Canton, home of the NFL’s Football Hall of Fame. Football fans can take in a Browns game or head to the Hall of Fame and then stay overnight at one of the area’s charming bed-and-breakfasts. Or you can head to Youngstown, just a half-hour away, to learn about the region’s rich steel-mill history.

Estate-sale buffs and other vintage hunters can browse Antiques in the Woods, an event held each fall just outside of town in the Shaker Woods. When cold weather arrives, locals gather for the Joy of Christmas Holiday Light Festival, complete with cookies and hot cocoa. Come spring and summer, the outdoors beckon with the Columbiana Wine Festival at Firestone Farms in June and a 4th of July fireworks display.

Where to stay: About a half-hour drive from Columbiana, Chapel Valley Estate is a renovated farmhouse turned warm and welcoming bed-and-breakfast set on 9 acres in the peaceful countryside outside of Pittsburgh. Completely redone in 2003, the estate features natural stone walls that were unearthed during the renovations, adding an old-world charm to any visit.

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2018 winner: Yassin’s Falafel House, Knoxville, Tennessee

There are many reasons to visit Knoxville, but start with a meal at Yassin’s Falafel House, named Reader’s Digest’s Nicest Place in America in 2018. The restaurant’s owner and operator, Yassin Terou, a Syrian refugee, has carved out a niche in the city’s food scene and made the restaurant a safe place and true community for everyone who walks through the door.

Then, head downtown and check out the observation deck at the Sunsphere, the hard-to-miss gold disco ball built for the World’s Fair when Knoxville hosted it in 1982. Right next door, you’ll find one of the world’s most unique gifts: a giant 10-foot-tall, 1,200-pound Rubik’s Cube, given to the city by Hungary, where the puzzle was born.

For something equally rare but a lot more cute and cuddly, check out Zoo Knoxville, which holds the distinction of being the birthplace of more red pandas than any other zoo in the world. In fact, the feat has earned Knoxville the nickname “The Red Panda Capital of the World.”

Where to stay: The 28-room Oliver Hotel occupies a restored 19th-century bakery right on Knoxville’s Market Square. The hotel provides bikes for guests to explore the historic city, but it’s a worthy destination itself for those who prefer to stay in and visit the on-site literary-themed speakeasy, Peter Kern Library.

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2017 winner: Gallatin, Tennessee

Once a farming community along the Cumberland River, Gallatin has grown into a thriving city in the Nashville metropolitan area. Just 23 miles northeast of the Tennessee capital, it’s growing rapidly while holding onto the small-town character that earned it the distinction of Reader’s Digest’s very first Nicest Places in America title in 2017.

The historic downtown is a good place to get to know Gallatin, starting with stops in its many locally owned shops and restaurants clustered around the courthouse square. Pay a visit to the elegant 1842 Greek Revival mansion Rose Mont, then stop at the Sumner County Museum to learn more about the people and events that shaped the region.

The great outdoors are an important part of life here too. Spend a day boating and fishing on Old Hickory Lake, or trade the water for the hiking trails of Bledsoe Creek State Park.

Where to stay: A night at the four-bedroom, four-bathroom Historic Stonewall is one of Gallatin’s most unique and storied stays. The nearly 200-year-old property has lived many lives, from a doctor’s home and boys’ dormitory to a private family residence. Today, it’s a historic property managed by the Sumner County Museum, which books it for overnight stays.

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Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of travel stories that help readers explore the world safely, easily and affordably. We regularly cover topics such as the best places to visit (and the best times to visit them), tips and tricks to zoom through airport security, flight-attendant secrets, hotel-room hacks and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing, and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

The post Time to Plan Your Nicest Vacation Yet! Here’s Your Guide to All of <i>Reader’s Digest</i>’s Nicest Places in America Winners appeared first on Reader's Digest.

Now, Quan is taking us somewhere even more personal: inside his own remarkable story with Never Say Die, his first book, released this month. The memoir traces his journey from a child in a refugee camp to a beloved actor on the Oscars stage, but Quan tells Reader’s Digest that its real heart lies in the decades when Hollywood stopped calling. “Those were the hardest chapters to write because they’re super personal,” he says of the roughly 30 “quiet years” when many people thought he had simply disappeared.

For this episode of The Reader’s Digest Escalator Interview, we caught up with Quan to dive deeper into Never Say Die—and, in true Escalator Interview fashion, we couldn’t resist getting a little nosy along the way. He opened up about what it was like revisiting some of the most difficult chapters of his life, revealed his writing snack of choice and answered the big question he knows you’re wondering about. “[Fans] always want to know what it’s like making Indiana Jones and The Goonies, and what it was like working with Harrison Ford,” Quan says. “If you’re fans of those two movies, you’ll love those chapters.” And when it came time to assemble his dream dinner party? Let’s just say fellow Goonie and longtime friend Jeff Cohen definitely has a seat at the table.

Read on for our exclusive interview with Ke Huy Quan, and shop his recommended reads below!

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Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’ve been sharing our favorite books for over 100 years. We’ve worked with bestselling authors including Susan Orlean, Janet Evanovich and Alex Haley, whose Pulitzer Prize–winning Roots grew out of a project funded by and originally published in the magazine. Through Fiction Favorites (formerly Select Editions and Condensed Books), Reader’s Digest has been publishing anthologies of abridged novels for decades. We’ve worked with some of the biggest names in fiction, including James Patterson, Ruth Ware, Kristin Hannah and more. The Reader’s Digest Book Club, helmed by Books Editor Tracey Neithercott, introduces readers to even more of today’s best fiction by upcoming, bestselling and award-winning authors. For this piece, Leigh Belz Ray interviewed author Ke Huy Quan. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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But community also lives “in the small, repeated contacts of daily life—the neighbor who waves every morning, the co-worker who checks in when you seem off, the person at the coffee shop who remembers your order,” says Lucy Rose, the founder of The Cost of Loneliness Project, who is on a mission to combat loneliness and build human connection. The way she sees it, community “is the web of relationships where people feel seen and know they matter.”

Since 2017, we’ve conducted an annual search for the Nicest Places in America, highlighting amazing hometowns (and even a few individual businesses) that celebrate the idea of community as not just a place to live and work, but somewhere you really feel part of the broader whole. We’ve had some incredible winners over the last 10 years, and to commemorate this milestone anniversary, we thought we’d help you make your community the very best it can be.

We talked to Rose, as well as Spud Marshall, founder of My Creative Community and the author of Designing Creative Communities, to learn tangible tips for making your hometown an even nicer place to live. We also checked in with Laura Malcolm, founder of Give InKind, to find out the best ways to respond in a crisis. Here’s how to strengthen your own community and create a place you can truly call home.

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What qualifies as a “nice” place?

“The answer changes from person to person—a new parent, a retiree and a 22-year-old need very different things from the same town,” Marshall says. But we can start with a few basics.

“Safety, services and green space matter, and they create the conditions where connection can grow,” Rose says. “So do the places where people naturally gather: accessible sports leagues, arts events, the local restaurant that turns into an unofficial neighborhood hangout.”

But the idea of a nice place to live goes beyond things to do. “What ties all of those together is whether people walk away feeling like they belong,” Rose says. “What I hear again and again in my work is that people remember how a place made them feel more than what it offered them.”

Often, that comes down to finding human connection. Marshall says what sets a nice place apart is the “density of weak ties—the number of people you may recognize but don’t (yet) know well.” It’s these casual acquaintances that connect you to the broader whole. “The social-capital research backs this up, and honestly, you can feel it just walking down a street.”

Marshall even has a test: “How many places in your town can you go alone and reliably run into someone you know? That number tells you more than any ‘best places to live’ ranking.”

How active is the process of creating a great place to live?

It’s as active as you want it to be. Nice places to live don’t just spring up out of nowhere, so the more you put in, the more you get out. But being active doesn’t have to mean joining a club or signing up for a long-term commitment.

“Real impact often comes without any formal structure at all,” Rose says. “Checking on an elderly neighbor after a storm counts. So does inviting a new co-worker to lunch, or holding the door and actually asking someone how their day is going, then waiting for the real answer.”

Of course, if you want to get involved more formally, that’s great too. But don’t overlook the active participation of just being there for someone. “Those gestures matter more to the person on the receiving end than most of us realize, and they add up when people make a habit of noticing instead of waiting for a program to organize it for them,” Rose says.

How can you strengthen your own community?

“Start with proximity,” Rose says. Look at what you’re already doing and go from there.

“Here’s what most people miss: You already belong to more communities than you realize,” Marshall says. “The dog park at 7 a.m., the same grocery checkout line, the parents at daycare pickup.” It’s easier than you think. “The work isn’t finding community,” Marshall explains. “It’s noticing the communities you’re already in and adding one ounce of intention into them.”

Here are some expert-approved, tangible ways you can strengthen your community right now. If one doesn’t speak to you, try the next one. “The best option is the one that fits naturally into the life you’re already living,” Rose says.

Introduce yourself

This one might be daunting, but it’s worth it. “Introduce yourself to a neighbor you haven’t met,” Rose says. You don’t have to go knock on their door or anything—just take a lap around the block a few nights a week. When you pass someone doing yard work or sitting on their porch, instead of looking at your phone or keeping your earbuds in, look up and say hi, along with your name. Most people will respond in kind.

“Warm, attentive neighbors can make a town with modest amenities feel like home,” Rose says.

Go to a local event

No matter what size town you live in, there’s probably a local gathering going on sometime in the near future. It could be a library book fair, a church potluck or a local band playing down at the corner bar. Look on community message boards for events that sound fun to you.

You don’t have to know anyone there, Rose says: “Show up to a local event, even if you’re going alone.” If that makes you nervous, remember that everyone else is there for the same reason: to enjoy a nice evening under the stars, find a book to read or support the same charity. If you meet someone, great. If you go home feeling that you’re not alone in this world, even better.

Host an informal gathering

“Host the low-bar thing, not the big thing,” Marshall says. “My wife and I host potluck brainstorms at our house with the simple goal of inviting strangers together to dream up new ways of making a difference in their town.” If you’re not sure how to get strangers on board, start with people you know and ask them to bring a friend.

Who knows? Your small event could turn into something more. “The fun part is that [our] informal gathering turned into a series of formal groups over the years,” Marshall says. “And many of those groups have gone on to create significant impacts in our community.”

Change up something you already do

The simple act of putting your current group into new situations can foster community. “I also run kayak meetings and frisbee golf meetings instead of coffee, because doing something side by side is what lets people talk about the real stuff,” Marshall says. “It feels more real and memorable but doesn’t require joining a formal group of any sort.”

Volunteer

Is there an issue that’s close to your heart? “Volunteer somewhere that puts you face-to-face with people,” Rose says. This could be walking dogs at the animal shelter, sorting donated food or clothing at your church or a local shelter, or signing up to drive your neighbors to vote. Having a task keeps you busy, so you’ll feel less pressure to make small talk (though you’ll be surprised how easily conversations will come), and you’ll foster community while you’re at it.

Think small

Marshall says building community is all about making small moves. You don’t have to spend every Saturday at the soup kitchen to make a difference. “Learn and actually use the names of five neighbors,” Marshall says. Once you know them, you can be the conduit for other connections. “Be the person who introduces two other people—a connector builds community without ever running anything.”

Say “yes”

“Another important starting point is to say yes to the invitation you’d normally decline,” Marshall says. Do you always say “no” when your friend asks you to go hiking or play pickleball? Next time, change up your answer. “You’d be surprised where that ‘yes’ may lead you.”

What should you do when your community is facing a crisis?

It might seem strange to think about building community during a crisis, but it’s in these tough times that people come together. “Crisis tends to strip away the usual social distance between people, and that’s actually an opening,” Rose says. “When needs are acute, your direct presence and attention can matter as much as any supplies you bring.”

Here’s what you can do to help your community in a crisis.

Offer to be the point person

If the immediate crisis has spared you, offer to either check in with a point person or be that point of contact for your community, Malcolm says. If you can, organize a meal train, offer to set up a donation page, rally neighbors for support, or give your neighbor a call and just ask: “Hey, neighbor, this crisis is happening. Can I be the point of contact?”

Malcolm’s organization, Give InKind, hosts donation pages for people going through tough times. “You can take on setting up a page and find out exactly what’s needed, and people can come on and give support in those different ways that can be helpful,” she says.

Check in on vulnerable neighbors

When natural disasters and other emergencies happen, we tend to look inward because the immediate needs are so acute. But don’t forget your neighbors, whether that’s the elderly man who just lost his wife or a person with special needs who might be frightened by the commotion.

“Check on people who live alone,” Rose says. “That’s a really big one,” Malcolm agrees. Also remember that crises take many forms, not just tornadoes and hurricanes. “We have seniors who check themselves out of the hospital AMA [against medical advice] because there’s no one there to walk their dog.”

When things start getting back to normal, “stay in contact after the initial crisis passes, because that’s often when the isolation sets in hardest, once everyone else’s attention has moved on,” Rose says.

Adjust your help to the need

Helping your neighbors will take different forms depending on the crisis. “If their house burned down, it might be gift cards for Airbnb or Home Depot,” Malcolm says. “If they have a child in the hospital, it might be that they need meals dropped off every night at a certain time for when they get home.”

Be specific about what you will do

Instead of asking generally what people need, Malcolm says it’s better to offer specific help. “Look for a thing that you know you can do, and offer to do it,” she says. “Say, ‘I’ll be responsible for wheeling your bins to the curb every week for the next six weeks unless you let me know otherwise.'”

Or if you’re organizing a meal train for someone, you might say, “We’re putting a cooler on your step, and we’ll let people know that if they’re dropping off meals, they should put them in the cooler between 5 and 6,” Malcolm says. “Let us know whether you want visitors.”

What’s the one thing you can do every day to make your hometown a “nicest place”?

For you and me, it might be hard to single out one thing to do every day. But Rose and Marshall had answers immediately, and they were surprisingly aligned.

“Be the one who says hello first,” Marshall says. “It sounds too small to matter, but it’s the whole ballgame–every relationship in your town starts with one person deciding not to look at their phone.” Or take it one step further: “Give away one specific useful thing a day: an introduction, a recommendation, a ride, 10 minutes of what you know.”

As for Rose? “Notice someone. Make eye contact, ask a real question, and listen to the answer,” she says. “It doesn’t take much time, but it’s also rare. Most people move through their day surrounded by others and still feel unseen. A single moment of genuine attention can interrupt that for someone, and it costs nothing.”

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Lucy Rose, founder of The Cost of Loneliness Project; email interview, Sept. 16, 2026
• Spud Marshall, founder of My Creative Community and author of Designing Creative Communities; email interview, Sept. 16, 2026
• Laura Malcolm, founder of Give InKind; phone interview, Sept. 17, 2026
• Stanford Report: “50 years on, Mark Granovetter’s ‘The Strength of Weak Ties’ is stronger than ever”

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I probably should have seen it coming. It was the first week of school, and back-to-school might as well be called back-to-flu. And sure enough, two days later, my throat also felt like I swallowed razor blades, doused them in gasoline and set them on fire. (She may have been dramatic, but she wasn’t wrong.) I did, however, manage to refrain from coughing in anyone’s face. 

What should we do? 

Cold and flu season creates an etiquette dilemma because getting sick isn’t a social offense or a moral failing. It’s just human. And sometimes you don’t know you’re sick until you’re already standing in someone else’s kitchen. Or you attribute feeling a little fatigued or sniffly to just being, well, a little fatigued. It literally could be nothing. That being said, there’s a big a difference between coming down with the sniffles mid-event and knowingly showing up to a four-hour indoor party while hacking up a lung like consumption is in vogue again.

So what is the polite thing to do if you feel like you’re coming down with something or you’re flat-out sick? Is it really rude to not tell someone you’re sick before you meet up? Grab a box of tissues, and let’s discuss. 

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The case for telling them you’re sick

Telling people you’re sick is simply about giving them the information they need to make the decision that’s best for them. Your infectious status is important info for regular healthy people, but it’s even more important for people who really need to avoid getting sick, like people who are pregnant, very old, very young or immunocompromised. Not telling them could have terrible consequences. It is also very pertinent info for people who may be preparing for an important event like a wedding, vacation or surgery. And you likely don’t know all of those circumstances because people don’t usually preemptively announce what they can’t get sick for. 

There’s a practical reason to share as well: You probably look sick. If you show up with two pockets stuffed full of tissues and a voice like Al Pacino, they’re going to know something is up. Realizing that you knew you were sick and didn’t say anything may feel like a frustration, at best, and a betrayal, at worst. 

Of course, we do need to mention the friend who’s a germophobe (and you privately think is being a little ridiculous). There’s a definite temptation not to tell them because they’ll turn it into A Big Thing, but I’d say that’s even more of a reason to let them know. Anxiety often stems from a lack of information. You being matter-of-fact and honest can help allay their fears. Or they’ll cancel, but that’s their decision to make.

The important distinction here is that telling someone you’re sick isn’t the same as asking for permission. You can say, “Hey, I woke up with a head cold, and I just wanted to let you know before we met up. Totally get it if you’d rather reschedule.” Boom, done. Now they have the information, and they can decide what they feel good about doing.

The case for not telling them

There are also good reasons for not turning every sneeze into an emergency alert. Sometimes, extra information just causes extra stress, especially for people already prone to worrying about getting sick. Colds are endemic. Telling someone you have a little cold during cold season isn’t particularly surprising or unique. After all, nearly everyone is sniffling then, and they’ll be sniffling and sneezing all around you when you’re out.

Not to mention that people don’t always know when they’re contagious. You can wake up feeling completely normal, go through your day and realize at night that you have a sore throat. Maybe your sniffly nose is just allergies. Or you have a lingering cough from a cold three weeks ago that’s no longer contagious. And we’ve all had those days when we feel more tired than usual and wonder if it’s the onset of an illness or just too many churros while binge-watching The Pitt. (That last one might just be me.) At any rate, expecting someone to diagnose themselves correctly before every social occasion is a pretty high bar.

And do others really need that info about you? Privacy is a swiftly dwindling resource these days, and we should hold on to the few shreds we have left, even if those shreds are in our sinuses. Plus, for people who tend to disclose too much, feeling like you need to report all your symptoms can be a terrible type of oversharing—especially if it involves anything below the waist. People don’t want or need the play-by-play of your bathroom adventures. 

The gray areas

Of course, the best etiquette advice about whether or not to tell someone you’re sick before you meet up is … it depends. On what?

• The location. Are you going to an outdoor baseball game where all those germs will get diluted in the stadium, not to mention be in a place with a whole bunch of other people harboring their own viruses? Or are you going to someone’s house, where you’ll breathe the same air for three hours?
• The event. Is this a family gathering where great-grandparents and babies will be? Or are you playing frisbee in the park with friends?
• The illness. A mild head cold is a far cry from the flu, COVID or something that requires both a garbage can and a toilet. One is a small annoyance, and the others can take people out for days—and are super contagious.
• The sick person. The dynamics change when it’s a child who is sick. Kids get sick far more often than adults, and they are not particularly hygienic or cooperative about not sneezing in other people’s eyeballs. As a parent of a sick child, you need to be open about their contagiousness too.
• Steps you are willing to take. Are you willing to mask up? Bring extra hand sanitizer? Be flexible about the location and activity? Taking responsibility for what you can control and doing your best to ameliorate that risk goes a long way in relationships.

One gray area that isn’t so gray: the idea that you already committed, so you have to go, no matter what. People sometimes feel that canceling is worse than showing up sick because “I said I’d be there.” But most hosts would rather avoid germ exposure or at least be given a heads-up about it.

So what should you actually say?

Just keep it simple. They don’t need to send a medical dissertation. Something like: “Just a heads-up that I woke up with a cold today. I’m feeling OK, but I wanted you to know before we got together. Totally understand if you’d rather reschedule.”

Or if you’re not sure whether you’re actually sick: “I have a scratchy throat today, and I’m not sure if I’m coming down with something. I feel fine otherwise, but I wanted to give you a heads-up.”

Or if you know you’re genuinely sick: “Hey, friend. I’m definitely sick, so I think we should reschedule. I’m sorry. I was really looking forward to seeing you.”

Notice that all three messages avoid pressuring the other person. You’re also not saying that it’s not a big deal and the other person shouldn’t worry about it. Give them the information, and let them decide.

What if you’re the one who shows up and discovers someone is sick?

Time to make your own personal-risk calculation. Of course, that will look different for each person. If you’re uncomfortable for any reason, it’s perfectly fine to ask to change plans—like moving things outside—or excuse yourself. No need to make a dramatic announcement or accuse them of being irresponsible.

“I’m actually trying really hard not to get sick right now. Would you mind if we reschedule?” is great.

So what happened with our trip?

Canceling the trip didn’t feel like an option—the visit was too important. Neither my daughter nor I had a particularly serious illness (we tested negative for both COVID and the flu), and no one involved was elderly or immunocompromised. But my husband and I agreed that we needed to tell our family before we showed up. They weren’t thrilled, but they still wanted us to come. So we wore masks on the airplane and in common areas, stayed in a hotel instead of their house and changed several of our activities to be outdoors.

And you know what? The trip turned out great. Everyone had a wonderful time, in large part because nobody was surprised when we showed up sick.

The verdict

Yes, it’s rude not to tell someone you’re sick before you meet up … if your illness could reasonably change whether someone wants to see you. Not every circumstance will require a disclosure, but as a general rule of thumb, this is information that’s polite to share. If they opt to reschedule, don’t take it personally. But if they want to see you anyway, do your best to minimize germ exposure. And if you know you’re sick sick—or you’re going to be around people who are especially vulnerable—consider canceling or changing the plans rather than putting others in the uncomfortable position of deciding for you.

The etiquette isn’t about whether you got sick; it’s about giving people enough information to decide whether they want to spend the afternoon with you and whatever microscopic hitchhikers you’ve brought along.

As for my daughter’s razor-blades-on-fire throat? We both recovered, our family survived the trip, and nobody else got sick. Which proves that sometimes a little honesty, a few precautions and a healthy respect for other people’s lungs can go a long way. Although I still maintain that “my throat feels like I swallowed razor blades and lit them on fire” was an unnecessarily elaborate way to ask for a popsicle.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

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Well, there’s a new Barbie in town, and it’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Scratch that—it is like someone you’ve seen before, and the likeness is uncanny. People are going absolutely nuts for it too, and when I say “people,” I mostly mean women of a certain age, like me.

Ahead, I’ll tell you everything you need to know about this buzzy new Barbie doll that will have you singing Mattel’s praises and jumping for joy if you manage to snag one. Read on to discover why this Barbie is so cool and where you can get your hands on one.

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What is the new Barbie generating all this buzz?

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A post shared by Barbie (@barbie)

Get out the smelling salts, ladies, because the latest Barbie doll is Lenny Kravitz. The ultra hip and incredibly lifelike “Kenbassador” celebrates the multi-hyphenate singer and pop-culture icon—and looks great doing it, right down to his sexy stubble and tight blue jeans.

According to Mattel, the “wildly cool doll replica of this artist honors his boundary-breaking spirit and captures a signature look from his ‘Blue Electric Light’ tour in amazing detail, including tattoos, a nose ring and authentic locs.”

They didn’t mention the abs, but he’s got those too.

The Lenny Kravitz doll is part of Mattel’s Barbie Signature Kenbassadors Collection, which honors influential men who are making a difference in sports, music and culture. The Kenbassador line was launched last year to celebrate the still-spry Ken on his 65th birthday.

Why are people losing their minds over this doll?

Did I mention the abs? This doll is gorgeous, just like Kravitz, and he looks like he could jump right off his collectible stand and rip into a guitar solo. It’s particularly popular with a certain demo.

• “I got mine yesterday and I am on my way to see @lennykravitz tonight!!! I am so excited!” said Crystal, an exuberant commenter on Instagram.
• “I think mama’s gonna start her own Barbie collection 🤩,” an IG swooner named Trixie said.
• “Omg I’m going to buy 2. One for me and one for my mom,” said one half of a multi-generational Kravitz-loving family.

A few commenters wanted to know why it didn’t come with his signature giant scarf, which occasionally envelops Kravitz’s slender frame like a big warm hug.

• “Someone needs to knit him his giant scarf,” said a Redditor who seemed concerned that he might get cold.
• “Does it come with a giant scarf?” another fashionista on Instagram asked.

To be clear, he does not come with the scarf, but he definitely reps the accessories, including sunglasses, a necklace and some super sweet ankle boots. Beggars can’t be choosers, guys.

Barbie Signature Kenbassadors Lenny Kravitz Ken Doll

$69.97 at Walmart

How popular is it already?

Very. The Lenny Kravitz Kenbassador sold out on Amazon within hours of its release, according to Billboard. No word on when the site will restock the official cache, but Amazon resellers are asking $100 or more for the rocker replica.

The doll is sold as a collectible and comes with a certificate of authenticity. Mattel isn’t labeling it as a limited edition, so here’s hoping they crank up the mesh-tank-top production line so we can all get our hands on one.

What else makes this Lenny Kravitz doll so special?

Kravitz is only the second Kenbassador in the Mattel lineup, so it’s a huge honor. LeBron James kicked off the franchise in 2025 with a doll that stood a full half-inch taller than both regular Ken and Kravitz Ken. We don’t think this sizing is to scale.

Has Lenny said anything about this honor?

Yes, he has, and his response was very Kravitz-like: “So cool.”

Kravitz was also involved in the creative process, he told People: “We got it down to all the details of the boots and the jeans and the belt with the holes and the rivets and the tops that I’ve been wearing [on tour]. The glasses are exact replications of the vintage glasses from the late ’60s that I’ve been wearing.”

He even created a sweet homage to his late mother, Roxie Roker. (If you were alive in the 1970s, you’ll know her as Helen Willis on The Jeffersons.) “The necklace around the [doll’s] neck was a necklace that belonged to my mother that I wear.” Kravitz Ken also sports a tattoo of Roker on his forearm, just like in real life.

How can you get a Kravitz Ken for yourself?

For now, you can buy one on Walmart or directly from Mattel, which still has them available (for around $70) as of this writing. If you’re holding out for Amazon or Target, you’ll have to keep refreshing the page. They’re sold out.

Sources:

• Mattel: “Barbie Signature Kenbassadors Lenny Kravitz Ken Doll”
• Billboard: “The Lenny Kravitz Barbie Is Flying Off the Shelves Just Hours After Its Release — Here’s Where to Buy”
• Vogue: “Lenny Kravitz Revives His Ginormous Blanket Scarf in His First TikTok”
• Instagram: “@Barbie”
• Reddit: “Lenny Kravitz officially approves of his Mini-Me! Did you get him (or plan to)?”
• People: “Lenny Kravitz Calls It ‘So Cool’ to Become Only the Second Man to Get His Own Ken Doll (Exclusive)”

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